May the Strife Never End
by Pale Meadow in the Moonlight
Summary: Well, if writing it makes Vince feel better, I guess I'll give it a shot. Companion story to Valentine's Strife, but not necessary to the plot. Cloud X multiple people. YAOI!
1. Chapter 1

Hey I'm doing a partner story for **Valentine's Strife **but it could be a standalone. Yay for my own version of Cloud's life!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own FFVII. Too bad.

**Warning:** Will contain man on man sex and also rape. Will contain torture and possible insanity. Lots of violence. Yay violence!

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So I guess I don't really know why I'm writing this. Vincent is writing his own life story, and since he started last month, he's been happier, putting some of his past to rest.

I need to do that.

Well I guess I had an okay childhood. Nothing special, by far, but I guess I was lucky to have it as good as I did. I never knew my dad, and my mother never mentioned him. I get the feeling that she loved him though, and I found a picture of him once. I was always picked on, left out, or just flat out hated, by the rest of the kids in Nibelhiem. The only one who was nice to me was Tifa, but that's just because the rest of them were so cruel.

Up until I was ten, I stayed mostly home, inside and helping my mom with little things. After that, I realized that I needed to help out more, like with the small farm we ran. It was a rather large town, very spread out, and we had plenty of room for a farm on the edge. We had hired a few workers for it, but I took over for one of them. It was hard, but worthwhile. I got steadily stronger, and soon I was stronger than even the older boys. I got into fights more often, and was a little shit to everyone. Only two people fully escaped my anger, and they were Mom and Tifa.

I rarely saw her, but I really liked her. One day when I was fourteen, Brant, the town bully and Tifa's boyfriend, got mad at her for talking to me after I won a fight against him. I was cutting down the old crops, so that we could start on the next round. I was working our small fields almost single handed by then. I had a clear view across town to the square for when he hit her and knocked her out. I was running before she even hit the ground.

My mom saw from the window and she would swear my feet had grown wings to make me run so fast. I used all my speed and strength in one hit to his face, sending him back a few feet. I stood over Tifa, checking her over to make sure she was alright, when I noticed that the rest of the town's boys were closing in. I crouched over her and heard a loud growl. It took me days to realize that I was the one growling.

What happened next was a blur of fists connecting with flesh and blood spattering everyone. I looked down once at Tifa and saw a drop of blood had landed on her face. I was sure I had kept theirs away from her, but I felt my mouth and found that I had coughed some up from one of their kicks. The distraction let them get to me and toss me far across the square. I curled in on myself and protected my head as they let loose on me. I knew that I had a broken rib and maybe a broken arm. My leg was undoubtedly snapped clean in two.

I tried to drag myself away, but that was hard with the pain I was in. I blinked in confusion when two of them were pulled off of me, and then the rest were dragged off in turn. I looked up in a haze at a muscular man who was shouting to the mayor, Tifa's dad. I looked over to see that she had woken up and was sitting on the ground hugging herself. I curled in on myself painfully as she turned to look at me. I must have been a mess, and she shivered.

I mumbled some sort of apology that I was sure she wouldn't hear over the shouts of the boys and their fathers dragging them to Brant's house to be held until they could decide what to do with them. Tifa's dad left her side and crouched next to me.

"I'm not sure what happened, son, but someone hurt my daughter, and it seems all the boys were after you with a fury to best the SOLDIERs in Wutai." I protested with a gurgle in my voice, blood in the way. "Now I don't believe you would hit her, but I gotta look at what I've seen so far. If there are any witnesses, they can clear it up but I'll talk to you soon about your side. Then I'll talk to Brant and the boys."

I nodded slightly and the muscular man who saved me picked me up. He started talking as he carried me away from the puddle my blood formed. "I'm Zangan. I teach children martial arts all around the world. I'm just passing through for now, but I'll be back in a few years to take up a student here. If you're around I'd love to teach you. You have natural potential, and I really hope you'll take up my teaching someday." I groaned, and I heard my mom's frantic voice.

"Cloud? How bad is he? Cloud?" I tried to wave her off but my good arm was trapped against Zangan's chest.

"Don't worry, Miss, I'll make sure he gets taken care of." I blacked out after that.

I guess this writing thing isn't as bad as I thought.

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Very short, but the next two chapters will be longer. And also posted today. I was prepared this time.


	2. Chapter 2

Hah, twice the length! Woohoo!

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It took a few days for things to get sorted out. Mr. Lockheart came by the day after the fight to get my story. Mostly he needed the whys and wherefores.

He sat down in the chair next to my bed. "Okay, son, I got the story from the villagers that saw it, but I want to know why you would take a risk like that."

I looked away for a while, and he was probably thinking of leaving by the time I spoke. "I saw Brant hit Tifa. I don't ever want her to get hurt. I would do anything for her."

He looked at me sadly and stood. "I couldn't ever thank you enough for what you did. I'm sorry, but Tifa doesn't know what happened yet. She hit her head pretty bad and doesn't remember being hit." He turned away. "I'm planning on telling her tonight, so if she comes by tomorrow I wouldn't be surprised."

After he left I thought about what I did. I saved her. I didn't know if they would've hit her again, but I couldn't let them get away with it.

A week went by and there was a makeshift trial in the square. The boys were lined up in front of the town, and Tifa and I were to the side. I was nervous being so close to her when I didn't know how she would react, but it couldn't be helped. She glanced at me a few times. The mayor gave a recant of what happened, without the emotional crap. As he finished, he motioned for me to come over. I hobbled over on my crutch, since we didn't have a wheelchair available and only one arm could hold it. I didn't want anyone to help me.

"Son, we all want to thank you for what you've done. Abuse is something we will not tolerate in this town, and you nipped it at the bud. Plus I am eternally thankful that you protected my daughter so bravely. I know now why you act so crass to everyone, and I apologize for what these boys have done to you for all these years."

I looked out into the crowd of faces and saw them nodding, and some of the mothers glaring at their sons. I looked back at Tifa, who was smiling. "Thank you. It really means a lot to me." I knew that the bullying would never stop, but now it would be done in secret. I sighed.

Mr. Lockheart grinned. "So, we've decided that whatever you want, you can have. Think of it like this; one wish."

I looked down. "I just want to heal faster. I was going to go to Midgar next winter. I was going to join SOLDIER."

Zangan stepped up from the crowd. "Well, boy, I can help you with that." He handed the mayor a glowing sphere. "This is materia. It's a mastered Cure materia, and I want you to have it. None of you will be trained enough to use it fully, but you can always train a select few healers. A new Cure materia will spawn from that one every once in a while. That's how a mastered materia works."

The mayor nodded gravely. "Right, we'll just use it on Cloud while you're still-"

"No!" Zangan shouted. "You have to wait until his bones set properly and until there won't be permanent damage." He looked over at me. "Wait until early fall and then use it daily until he's recovered. That is the safest way for him so that he won't have any problems in SOLDIER."

He turned and strode away, and I saw Tifa looking blankly after him. I was watching when pain flashed across her face, and I was moving to her when she put a hand to her head. I rushed over and caught her in my good arm, falling to the ground with her to cushion her landing. She was twitching slightly, crying out. The rest of the town surged forward to help.

I found out that she had had a minor seizure and lost her memory of the last two weeks. Her dad sent for the shaman in Gongaga, but she couldn't find a single thing wrong with Tifa. We sent for a doctor from Rocket Town, but we got back letters saying that he didn't have the available time, that there was business in his town he had to attend to first.

Part of the punishment for the boys was to work in our fields. Two of them per day worked them, and one of the adults watched to make sure they didn't mess anything up. I looked out once in a while to see them struggling to finish what I did every day. I chuckled a few times.

It was early fall before I even knew it. I expected it to take an unholy amount of time to speed up my healing, but we got there. They used a small dose of Cure on me daily, and in only a week I felt great, right back in top shape. One day I went to the fields and picked up the hoe to work alongside the two who had to work that day. They glared, but beneath that I saw a grudging respect. I think I made an impression on them.

The mayor saw me training with a wooden sword one day, and approached me. "Cloud," he said with an arm around me. "That doctor who's gonna take a look at Tifa will be coming soon, but he needs to come through the mountains. Tifa wants to go herself to guide him through, but I don't want her to go since she can't defend herself from the monsters that are popping up lately." I nodded and he led me over to the blacksmith's place. "I want you to lead a few of the men through the mountains. You're the best guide we have."

I had spent almost every winter of my life thus far climbing and exploring the Nibel Mountains. I agreed to go, and he clapped me on the shoulder, walking away smiling.

On the day we were to leave, I waited by the old abandoned Shin-Ra mansion. They were a little late. I saw them coming out of the square with swords on their backs. Two mercenaries. I sighed, thinking they knew absolutely nothing about mountain climbing. I was right.

We finally made it through the caves and out to Rocket Town. It took an extra two days to get that far because the mercenaries decided that it would be fun to not follow me, and get lost. Repeatedly. I don't want to talk about that disaster.

The doctor was a nice man with old round glasses. I warned him to stick close to me, and not pay attention to the rather vulgar men following us. They snickered and made fun of my hair. I really didn't like them.

We were almost out to the Reactor on the mountain, and that meant we were almost home. The men didn't get lost this time, but they were just as useless since they questioned every step I took. After we crossed the bridge, they started joking and pushing each other. It ended up that one was pushed into me, and I stumbled over the edge of the path. I squeezed my eyes shut, braced to hit the ground far enough below to shatter my bones. Someone grabbed onto me and my momentum almost sent them tumbling too. I looked up and it was Brant, who had been sitting outside the cave just below the path. He huffed and dragged me up into the alcove with him. I just stared at him suspiciously.

He sighed. "I couldn't let myself ruin your chance in SOLDIER again."

We climbed back up to the relieved men, where the doctor hugged me tightly and the mercenaries sobered greatly.

When we made it back to the village, the mercenaries gave a detailed report of the trip. They included getting lost because of their own stupidity, and almost causing my death. They refused payment for any of the trip, or the second trip, as penance for their actions. My mom heard about the fall and cried softly off to the side. I smiled at her, giving her thumbs up.

The doctor had a bag of equipment that he used to check on Tifa's head, and didn't find anything wrong. "Well, the only explanation," he said outside the house so Tifa wouldn't hear, "is that the brief trauma caused her brain to spasm, and have a seizure. It isn't common, but not unheard of."

I had to guide the doctor home after that, and the mercenaries rarely said a word through the whole trip. Their next destination was Rocket Town, so I convinced them to go on and let me return alone. It went much faster, and I ran through most of the caves, taking shortcuts that were too small for adults, and too dangerous for any kids. I really was their best guide. I was almost to the bridge when I saw her reaching it. She looked up at me fearfully and stumbled, teetering close to the edge. I ran to her but it seemed to startle her even more. She tumbled, and I leapt off the cliff face without a thought.

I grabbed onto her and held her close. We fell to the ground far below.

I took the brunt of it, but Tifa was still hurt more. Her dad and uncle found us a few minutes later, while I was taking the new Cure materia out of my pocket. It had been in my coat pocket, and I landed on it, cracking a rib or worse. I ignored it, and crawled over to her. I muttered, "Cure," and saw an indent in her skull fill out and repair itself. Otherwise, she had small scrapes on her legs where I couldn't break the fall. I didn't realize that I should have been dead, but it didn't matter, because Tifa's uncle was carrying her away.

Her dad kicked me in the side. "Cloud! Why'd you bring Tifa to a place like this!" He kicked me again, and I fell a bit more to the ground.

Her uncle chimed in. "What the hell's the matter with you?"

Looked up at them helplessly. "I saw her up here on my way back, and-" I got out before being kicked aside.

"What if she dies?"

It was like a punch in the gut. I thought about how I could've helped her if I was faster, if I was stronger.

Tifa was in a coma for seven days. I spent those days idly healing myself bit by bit with the materia. I worked the fields as if my life depended on it, and it kind of did. I would leave in two weeks. I would travel to Midgar and join the army. I was nervous and excited at the same time, but I didn't want to leave my mom there by herself. She approved though.

At the end of the week, I'd decided to leave early. As soon as she opened her eyes, I left the town and everyone in it behind. I traveled quickly to Gongaga and restocked my supplies. I was off immediately, after hearing about a SOLDIER from that town. He was famous, a hero of the war in Wutai. I knew I would meet him eventually once I got into the program.

I got to Costa del Sol without any problems. I boarded the ferry and then I found out I had motion sickness. I spent the ride out on the deck with the wind in my face and salt air to focus on. I would be fifteen the day I got to Midgar. I was still nervous, but I was almost there and I couldn't back down.

I spent the night in Junon and saw my first SOLDIER. He was tough looking and stern, and in charge of the recruiting office in Junon. I went up to him eagerly. He seemed bothered by me being there signing up, but it was probably how small I was. I told him I was turning fifteen in two days. He nodded and let me sign up. Fifteen was the minimum age.

I went to Midgar on my own, and arrived on my birthday, as planned. I was worn out from all the walking, but it had to be done. I signed in at the recruiter's office and they gave me a bunk for two days until the next batch of trainees were brought in.

I wandered the city the next day, hoping to get used to the air around me. There were older teenagers shooting at each other and little girls getting molested. I didn't like the city.

I saw Turks, though, and they were shooting out a building that seemed to have lots of illegal weapons and lots of resistance. They were almost graceful taking out everyone who even looked dangerous in and around the area. I was rooted to the spot when a redhead laughed as he killed dozens near a higher window.

I hadn't known how ruthless they were.

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Let me know what you think!


	3. Chapter 3

2,908 words of story! My longest chapter ever ever ever!

**EXTREME WARNING:** This chapter contains lots of **violence** and **rape**. You have been warned. If this bothers you yet you want to know what happens, comment and ask me!

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When the time came to report for boot camp, I was confident that I would keep up and do well. They gave us our uniforms and showed us to our bunkers. It wasn't so bad. We changed into uniform and went to meet our instructors. The first three weeks would be hard training, then we would start training for battle.

The first three weeks were hell. We ran seven miles a day, were dragged through mud, and beat regularly. It was inhumane. I wasn't the only fifteen year old, but I was the only one who stuck through till the end. I was one of the best, but the next age up was a year and a day older than me. They liked to make everything hard on me. I put up with it, especially since the instructors were in on it. It was hell.

I was training under SOLDIER Second class Kunsel. He was standing in for the usual teacher. We were starting on sword training. He didn't really teach much, just texted all day. He actually got a call once, and he sounded kinda fruity. "Hey buddy, what's up?" There was a pause, but I could hear shouting from across the room. "Whoa, hold on, where's the General?" he asked in a panic. "What? How could this happen?"

I watched as he leapt to action, hanging up his phone and shouting orders. "All of you, this is not a drill. I know you don't have training, but listen up! There's an emergency in the main ShinRa HQ, and the SOLDIERs are in need of backup. Grab a weapon you use well and follow me!"

I wanted to use a sword, but they were all taken within seconds. I grabbed two revolvers and a handheld machine gun. Plus a belt with as much ammo as I could fit into it. They looked at me strangely and I shrugged. "You guys took all the swords."

Kunsel grinned and laughed. "You guys look fierce. Without your grunt uniform, you guys could easily be SOLDIER. If nothing else, we'll scare a bunch off." He signaled and we took off, running to the nearby building. I spent that taking the blanks out of the revolvers and loading them with real bullets. We were nearing when I loaded the machine gun and hooked it over my back. I was a great shot, and I was bound to take more than a few out. Kunsel briefed us on the enemy.

"These are the last resistance of Midgar based Wutaian spies and the last effort of the terrorists who are trying to take out ShinRa. They're all trained and highly dangerous. And there are a lot of the motherfuckers."

We nodded and got ready to enter the battleground. I could hear the crash of metal on metal and guns firing. I saw a man dodge around the building and tensed. He didn't have a SOLDIER uniform. One of the cadets next to me ran forward, but was easily swept aside by Kunsel. He whispered just loud enough for us to hear. "He hasn't seen us, so spread out and go in pairs when I run in. Act like reinforcements that are well trained."

We dodged around, taking up somewhat hidden positions. We were uneven and they left me to myself, which was fine because that was better for my aim. I saw from a distance a SOLDIER fighting a giant mass of Wutaians, and he was fading fast. He had a First's uniform. He was downed briefly by a stray bullet that hit his thigh, and a Wutaian took advantage to leap at the First with a short sword. I shot the man down, which confused the rest, but gave the SOLDIER time to recover.

I saw Kunsel run in and leap over the heads of the group to fight alongside the First. I ran in and shot down a few that were a little too close to me. I leapt over a low swung sword and shot the attacker in the face. I holstered the guns and brought out the machine gun to blow a hole in the ring of people around the two SOLDIERs. I ran in, switching guns again. They moved to allow room for me and the three of us were back to back. Shot down the ones after me and then we spun, switching sections of attackers. It was efficient, and I got in a lot of kills. My ammo ran out eventually and they covered me while I reloaded. It wasn't too long before the enemies ran out.

The First killed that last one with a flourish. I took a deep breath and sat on the blood soaked ground. Kunsel ran around giving orders and checking for our own wounded and dead. The First crouched next to me. His black hair was matted with blood. "Hey, kid. Were you the one who saved me back there when I fell?"

I nodded and looked at my hands, realizing that I had killed someone. "Yeah I saw him jump, and I thought you needed a little help."

He laughed and I glanced back into his lavender eyes. "Just a little? You saved my ass, and Kunsel's, when you got in there." He stuck his hand out and I shook it uncertainly. "Lieutenant Fair, SOLDIER First class. You can call me Zack." He had a smile that you wanted to share; you had to smile back to maybe feel half as happy as he looked.

I saluted quickly, still on the ground. "Cadet Strife. It was an honor to fight beside you."

He laughed and stood, dragging me with him. "Don't salute, we're friends now. What's your first name?"

I smiled again. "Cloud."

He cocked his head, looking back to the entrance to the building. "Well, Cloud, they probably still need help inside. Can you handle some more action?"

I nodded seriously and followed him as he dashed through the broken glass front doors to the main ShinRa building. I saw a Wutaian ducking beneath the front desk and pretended I didn't, signaling for Zack to go on. I snuck up to the desk, popping around it to shoot two men with guns. I picked up their guns, strapping them on. Always be prepared.

I caught up to Zack, who was waiting for the elevator. He glanced around, and pressed the loudspeaker button. His voice came over the speakers. "The elevators will now be relocated to the ground floor and disabled." He grinned and did just that as I watched out for any enemies.

We took to the stairs. He paused there, seeming to debate something in his head. "Should we go up and check on the president and his son, or down to make sure the labs are secure?" I shrugged and suggested that the Turks probably had the president covered. He looked worried still.

I went up to check on the president, while he went down to the labs. He said he'd warn the Turks that I'd be going up there. It took forever, and I didn't see anyone on the stairs. Once I got to the executive floor, I heard fighting in the huge main office up ahead. I took a deep breath and got ready. As I bust in, there were two men in suits fighting off dozens of people. There were another two guarding the president and his son, who were behind the desk. I recognized one of those to be the redhead I saw weeks ago. He grinned at me and sighed.

I let loose, killing as many as possible, as fast as possible. I saw that most were Wutaian, but there were a lot of men that looked like mountain dwellers. If I stopped to let them get a good look at me, they might realize I was similar to them. The three of us took out the room easily, and when it was all over, President Rupert Shinra stood to look at me better. He cleared his throat gruffly. "What's your name, kid?"

The redhead was helping a teen out from under the desk. He had a protective glint in his eye that I would've laughed at in another situation. I snapped to attention, saluting stiffly. "Cadet Strife, Mr. President."

He laughed harshly. "I didn't expect that name here. Well then, Strife, get the hell out of my office." All four Turks turned to him in shock, but I turned and left without another word. I didn't want to listen to the president right then. I recognized him.

I hurried out of the room, and one of the Turks followed me. "Strife, I'm Turk Commander Tseng. I'll be assisting you. We suspect that the scene in the labs is a bloodbath, and not all of it the enemy's."

I looked over to the well dressed Wutaian. He was very tall, and being as small as I was I had to crane my neck to look at his face. "Yes, sir. Lieutenant Fair is down there already, and sent me up here."

Tseng nodded, taking out his gun. We charged down the stairs, but I was losing breath from all of the action. He slowed only slightly, letting me catch up to his long legs. After Shiva knows how many floors, we burst through a door, guns ready.

What I saw there was worse than a horror film. There wasn't a single surface without blood covering it. There was a decapitated head next to my foot, staring up at me. It was the recruiter from Junon. I started shivering. I guess the reason it affected me so much is because I recognized him. I hadn't thought much of my first kill, or the dozens that followed. I hadn't even thought much of the bloodbath in the president's office. But seeing that SOLDIER's head lying in a pool of sticky blood, I wanted to cry.

Tseng put a hand on my shoulder and led me a little away. He crouched so he wouldn't loom. "This is your first battle? It'll be hard to sleep for a while, but you'll manage. I can see the compassion in your eyes, even as you kill, and I know that you will care for the deaths on your hands, but be able to move past." He stood and turned to the door, taking a deep breath.

He looked back to me. "Sephiroth is inside here, and I don't know if he'll still be berserking. If he is, we'll die. I won't take you in there if you're afraid. It's natural and hell, I'm afraid." I swallowed and nodded. He smiled and nudged open the door silently.

The General was standing over Zack, sword pointed to his chest. His head snapped up to us and he rushed us. He was going straight for Tseng and I shot wildly at the blur the man had become. Green tinged blood flew and he halted, eyes honing in on me. I stood my ground, and heard Zack yell my name. I ducked a split second fast enough and shot up at the man's chest looming over me. I heard a grunt, and he jumped back. He looked confused, and glanced about with his head cocked. Tseng picked himself up from where he had fallen in his haste to get away from the General.

"Sephiroth, are you alright?" he asked gently. The man frowned at him.

"What happened here?"

Zack coughed and groaned, and I crawled over carefully. He looked up as I sat on the bloody ground next to him. "Hey Spikes. You were amazing." I felt myself blush and thanked him quickly. "You saved my ass again. And you saved Tseng's ass."

I looked over to the dark haired man quietly explaining the situation to a grimacing Sephiroth. I took a deep breath. "Yeah, I guess I did."

After Zack's wounds healed mostly up, I helped him up so we could all check the building for any more intruders. Zack whispered to me when we were alone that he'd explain what just happened to the General later. I tried to be as quiet as possible but while carrying a First, that wasn't gonna work. Once he could walk on his own, we split up, searching the SOLDIER quarters. I found one Wutaian beneath a table trying to set up a bomb. I ran back to find Zack after I got rid of him, but the First had vanished from the floor. I sighed and moved to the next one. As I stepped into the staircase, I was ambushed by terrorists. One bullet got me in the side, and one in the leg. I got rid of most of them, but a few were lucky enough to get close and fight hand to hand with me.

That wasn't my specialty, but I was decent. I was only barely taken down, and they had trouble tying me up. I finally gave up and used all the volume I could to shout for the others. "Zack! Tseng! Sephiroth!"

I knew that at least one of the SOLDIERs would hear me with their enhanced ears. They would come eventually.

I was dragged into a lounge area, and the large open doors were heavily guarded. One terrorist went to the intercom. "Hey SOLDIERs! I know you heard your boy here shout." He looked back to me strangely. "He's mighty pretty if you ask me. I suggest taking your time getting here so we can have some fun with him." He taped the button down. "I'll just leave this on so you can hear his screams loud and clear."

I scooted away and he grinned like a fox. He took me by the collar and threw me face first against the wall inches from the intercom. I took a deep breath and let it out shakily. I knew what was going to happen, it was obvious. If they got here fast enough, I might only be raped once. If they had trouble finding us, it would be much more.

I felt the man's hard cock against my back and closed my eyes. They ripped down my pants even as I struggled, and four of them held me still. When he entered me it felt like I was being torn in two, but it only got worse as he kept going, rough and fast. I bit my lip but I couldn't stop the cries I let out as he was particularly rough. He came in me with a grunt, and two men replaced him behind me. I didn't notice that I said something until I heard it multiplied through the speakers.

"Sweet Shiva, no."

They both entered me quickly, and I didn't have the presence of mind to stop the scream I made. I sagged against the wall, held up only by the four men that had originally restrained me. I couldn't think through the haze of pain, and I only vaguely heard my shouts repeated back to me.

When they finished the men lowered me to face yet another erect cock. It was shoved down my throat as two more entered from behind. I kept my eyes squeezed shut as I gagged violently.

Sephiroth chose that moment to bust into the room and slaughter everyone in it. I fell to the floor, surrounded by dead bodies. Zack was only seconds behind, and was spared the sight of the men in the throes of passion using my body.

He took care to redress and untie me, and I stayed collapsed in his arms. Tseng ran in and took in the scene of Sephiroth repeatedly slicing apart the terrorists. I was silently sobbing into Zack's chest, and he was stroking my hair. He muttered soothing words, picking me up and waiting for Sephiroth to finish getting out his anger.

I heard the silver haired man swear and I looked over to see him starting to go berserk again. I called out to him. "Sir, they can't hurt anyone anymore."

He turned to me and chuckled. "No, they can't." Zack carried me away, putting me down before we left the building. He understood that I would want to look strong in front of my peers. He helped me limp outside, weary of my leg wound.

Kunsel turned to us and almost squealed in relief. Zack laughed at him. A few of the cadets that had gone into the fight had died in it, but not too many. They all antagonized me anyway. But when they looked at me then, a few whispered to each other and stared appraisingly. I ignored them. Sephiroth and Tseng walked around, talking to the survivors and ordering a cleanup of the area. Zack high fived another First and everyone was whooping with joy at winning. I smiled wearily.

I unhooked the two guns I had taken from the Wutaians and got Zack's attention. "I was searching the SOLDIER quarters and there was a Wutaian setting a bomb. I stopped him halfway, but a search would probably be good."

He nodded seriously and let me go to tell the General. I swayed for a moment before everything went black.

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Hey hey hey, R&R


	4. Chapter 4

Heeeey I'm back! I hope people are reading this, but it doesn't matter, I like writing it.

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My mind slowly restarted and registered pain. Lots of it. I almost felt my body rejecting something in my blood. I eventually heard voices talking over me. They were shouting.

"How could you let that lunatic do this?"

"He's a scientist; he knows what he's doing."

"He used _mako_ to heal him! It's killing him!"

"That's only because his body seems to be rejecting the mako. It was unforeseen." That was another person, who sounded sleazy and clinical.

"Unforeseen my ass! He isn't in SOLDIER, he can't take that much all at once!" I finally recognized the angry voice to be Zack.

I was writhing in pain and they were arguing over whose fault it is. I was a little annoyed. I cracked my eyes open and glared at them. Sephiroth was there. "Can you guys," I started with the strain in my voice, "shut up and do something about this?"

All three looked at me in shock. A man in a lab coat grinned and rushed over. "You're conscious through the mako poisoning. That's never happened before!" He sounded so excited that he might jizz himself at any time. Sephiroth pulled him back by the collar.

"I think you've done enough damage here, Professor. The doctors will handle this."

The man huffed and left angrily. Zack knelt next to the bed that I had just realized that I was strapped to. I was sweating buckets and every pore was oozing pain. I felt a particularly bad jolt and cried out.

Sephiroth left the room quietly. I saw regret in his eyes, and I wanted to tell him that it was alright, but he was gone too quickly. Zack had his head on my hand and was mumbling about killing someone named Hojo. After what felt like days of suffering, I felt the pain recede. There were tears burning my face, and I coughed up something foul. Zack sat me up so I wouldn't choke. He said something about the mako leaving my system. He washed off my face, and there was raw skin where the tears tracked.

My body rejected the mako, and that means that it was incompatible with my system. The SOLDIER program centers on mako being introduced to your bloodstream and fusing to become a natural substance. If that doesn't work, no SOLDIER for you.

I was _screwed_.

I said as much to Zack the next day when they let me out of the ward. I hadn't slept that night, I had blacked out. Anyway, he was walking me down to the cadet barracks and I blurted out, "So what do I do now?"

He frowned. "Well, you get what sleep you can, and you'll be on sick leave for two more days, so you relax and sleep more."

I shook my head. "I can't be in SOLDIER because my body won't accept the mako. SOLDIER was the reason I came here at all."

He was scowling for a while, glaring at the floor. We had stopped walking. "Cloud, how old are you?" I told him sixteen. "I'll look into some things for you later. I'll visit tonight or tomorrow and we'll talk about it." He looked me in the eye. "Are you sure you're okay? After what they did to you, you don't need any help sorting through things?"

I looked away, and he sighed. "I'll be fine, Zack, and if I need your help I'll find you."

"Promise?"

I smiled and looked back into his lavender eyes. "Promise."

He smiled again and started walking, saying something about stopping in on "Seph" to let him know I was alright. "He feels guilty for not getting to you in time, and for letting Hojo get at you."

I was intimidated by all of the SOLDIERS and Turks wandering the halls. Some were stoic but some high fived Zack or waved. Zack's phone went off, he had a text. He read it and stopped walking, glancing around nervously. We were in an empty hallway with one window that overlooked the SOLDIER cafeteria. I saw Kunsel looking up at us and giggling.

"Zack? Was that from Kunsel?" Nodded and his eyes widened.

"He asked where I was then he said he was kidding and he knows. How does he know?"

I laughed. "I don't know Zack, I don't know." I gave Kunsel a thumbs up behind Zack's back. "He must be pretty ninja or something."

Zack paled and dialed Kunsel's number. "Hey, buddy, are you a ninja?" I heard and saw the man burst out laughing. Zack handed me the phone. "He wants to talk to you. How does he know that you're here?"

I pointed as I took the phone. Zack glared between us as Kunsel thanked me for helping him mess with Zack. "That was great, Strife, I haven't seen him so pale in my life, and he's a mountain boy he's supposed to be pale! Ninja? You had to be the one to feed him that idea!"

I grinned and hung up, looking at Zack who was pouting. "Don't make that face at me; that was hilarious."

He smiled and gave me a bear hug. "I can't stay mad at you, Spiky."

We walked the rest of the way to Sephiroth's office.

The man was doing paperwork, frowning at some pointless report. He glanced at us and I saw a glint of sadness in his eyes. He waved us in distractedly. "Come in, come in, you'll be a welcome change from reading these reports." He sighed and pushed it roughly aside. "All of them about the attack, and none of them to prove the valor of the real hero."

I frowned and saluted casually. I was off duty, so I could afford to be a little friendly.

Sephiroth smiled and saluted back. "Nice to see you up and around, Strife."

Zack clapped me on the shoulder. "He's doing so well that he's helping Kunsel make a fool outta me."

"No one needs to help you with that," we said at the same time. We glanced at each other, and I could swear that the General was blushing.

Zack pouted. "Now you're both working against me."

Sephiroth chuckled gently. "Well, we only speak the truth, Zackary."

He looked at the report. "So what were you saying about a hero?"

The general stood and walked around the desk, leaning on it casually. "Well, there's a certain cadet that almost single-handedly saved the company. He saved a few SOLDIERs and the President and his son owe him their lives as well. Not to mention a few Turks, and their commander. And he saved everyone from the Silver Demon himself."

I just stared, just realizing that what I had done would be impressive. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Zack just laughed at me. "Well, spike. I think you should get a medal of valor."

I shook my head. "Whether I deserved it or not, I wouldn't get it. I'm only a grunt."

Sephiroth looked at me and sighed. "Cloud, I apologize for not coming in time." I shook my head. He held up his hand. "I had heard you, but decided to get the others for backup first. If I had just come immediately, I could've saved you."

I smiled and shook my head again.

"I need no apologies. At least I found out that I can't be in SOLDIER now rather than later."

Zack frowned again. "Hold on. How do you feel about joining the Turks?"

* * *

Yeah, I did just make Seph blush. I feel... dirty.

R&R pleeeaaaase!


	5. Chapter 5

I'm back! I don't remember if I really get any readers for this, but I'm sticking to it, so here's the next chapter!

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I couldn't even believe that Zack had said that. I had never considered the Turks before, yet somehow, after thinking it through, it felt right.

I glanced at the men in the room. Tseng appraised me, pinching the bridge of his nose. He had expressed the rule of being at least eighteen that had been made only a year before. He liked to stick to the rules, but he knew that keeping me in the regular army for another two years would be a waste. Why not start off early?

Two new Turk operatives stood beside him. One, a tall black man in sunglasses, stood stiffly at attention. The other, the redhead from before, grinned cattily as he lounged on Tseng's desk. His suit was disheveled, and he had foregone the necessary tie. His eyes were framed by red tattoos, and it gave his face the allusion of being very thin.

I felt Zack and Sephiroth behind me, and squared my shoulders. "Sir, I would be honored to be trained as a Turk."

Tseng sighed. "As a Turk, you will be required to kill without hesitation. You must be a killing machine, a well oiled killing machine. I don't believe that sixteen is old enough to handle such a job."

I locked eyes with him. "Sir, I understand your concern. I will freely admit that on the field, though I was not and am not a fully trained army soldier, I killed unflinchingly. I had a brief fit of panic, as you witnessed, but I recovered fine. I see no reason why I shouldn't be admitted."

The redhead chuckled. "Tseng, he remind you of someone, yo?" He grinned and shifted. "I was just like that. I turned out fine; I even flew through the training." I glanced at him thankfully.

Sephiroth put a hand on my shoulder. "Tseng, I personally recommend him to you. Many of us owe our lives to him." He went silent for a moment. "And as to his mental stability, I'm sure you know about the events during the attack."

The redhead hopped down from the desk. "Yeah, the boss was already out, but I was gonna go help you guys. I heard it over the intercom. That's something that some of us wouldn't be able to handle." He frowned. "You were pretty quiet for a kid goin' through that, yo."

I took a deep breath and let it out through my teeth. "I wish I hadn't been stuck in that situation, but it could've been much worse if the General hadn't come when he did. I'm lucky that I'm not dead."

He frowned deeper. "You know that the speakers outside were connected. Everyone near the building knows what happened." I grimaced. That was why the other recruits were looking at me like that. "I did some recon around here, and turns out that you earned the respect of everyone."

I smiled. "Well, that's good, then. But this is kinda off topic. We should be talking about me joining you guys."

Tseng raised his eyebrows. "Well, if you all insist, I suppose we can ignore the rule. This time," he added with a warning tone. I smiled and thanked him. He sighed again. "You have three days until training starts. We don't have any rooms for you, so you'll dorm with Reno." He looked at the redhead, Reno. "You're responsible for him and his training. Got it?"

Reno nodded and grinned. "Sure thing, boss."

Sephiroth turned me around and looked at me seriously. "If you need anything, you know where to find me." I frowned, and he chuckled. "That's what friends do."

My jaw went slack, and Zack cracked up at me. "That was great!" he shouted, wiping tears from his eyes. "Yeah, we're all friends now, so if I don't hear from you, I'll be offended." He turned and started walking out. "See you in the cafeteria tonight, Turk."

Sephiroth rolled his eyes. "I'll see you there too, I believe." He frowned. "If I can get that damn paperwork done, that is."

He left, too, and Reno grabbed me by the elbow, dragging me out of the office. We went down the hall, and many Turks were cleaning up the reminders of the attack. I offered to help, but Reno just kept tugging me along. We got to the dorm hall without running into too many people, and getting into the room was very hard. They all assumed things.

An older man frowned. "I know you like to have your escapades, Reno, but this one's way too young."

A woman agreed heartily. Up came quite a few older men, all looking disapproving.

I scoffed. "First, I'm sixteen, even though everyone thinks I'm younger. Second," I turned to Reno, "why did Tseng have me dorm with you? From what I can tell from these people's reactions, you'll molest me as soon as I step in the door."

The man cracked up. It took him a moment to calm down, and he was grinning at me. "You must be the new kid everyone's talking about. Good work in the attack." He turned and laughed again. "Good luck, kid. Never a dull moment when Reno's around."

Reno scratched the back of his head and kicked open his door. "We don't lock anything around here. There's no point, since any lock can be picked easily. It's one of the first things we learn." He dragged me in and shut the door.

Surprisingly, it was extremely neat. Two singles on each side of the room, and everything was in whites, beiges, and soft greens. I saw that there were very few personal possessions, just a small framed photo of Reno, Tseng, and a girl in a pink dress. They were younger, Reno was probably fourteen. The girl was in front, maybe ten or eleven, and Reno was behind her with his arms draped over her shoulders, hanging in front of her. Tseng was about twenty, wearing his Turk suit. He had his arms wrapped around Reno's waist, and was leaning down so his chin could rest on his shoulder.

Reno saw me looking at the photo. He grinned. "That was years ago. Seven, I think. We all knew each other when we were younger. I don't know how we all met, but we stuck together."

I sighed and looked at myself in my grunt uniform. He noticed and jumped up. "Here, I've got an old suit or two that should fit you."

He tossed me the clothes and busied himself with making room in his closet for my future suits. His fit me well. I smiled nervously. "So what now?"

Reno tilted his head. He looked like he was thinking for a while, and after a minute I was getting concerned. He suddenly shrugged. "Not much to do, since you aren't on the job yet. Maybe we can go harass Zack and Kunsel." He nodded decisively. "Yeah, that usually fills time well."

He led me out, and I grimaced. My side hadn't healed from the mako, so it was bandaged and sore. I felt a sudden twinge in my skull, and heard what seemed like a shock of electricity. It was powerful, whatever it was, and sent me to my knees. Reno heard me start to go, and reached out to catch me. He barely did, and I grunted as the feeling and sound came back even stronger.

The man from earlier noticed us from down the hall and came at a sprint. He knelt and tilted my head up, looking in my eyes. I felt burning tears track down my face. "We should get him in to see Hojo."

Reno shook his head vigorously. "No, Zack told me that last time he was near that creep, the guy forced a bunch of mako into his system. He's allergic to it or somethin', but then the dude wanted to run tests on him."

The man sighed. "Last thing we need is to give him another test subject."

My roommate took out his phone, dialing fast. "Yeah, Zack? We need you over to my dorm, fast. Cloud's having some kinda attack." He glanced at me. "I don't know. His eyes are kinda glowing and he's crying, but it's making his face all raw." He sputtered. "What? How?"

I curled in on myself a little more, holding my head. I couldn't hear Reno anymore, and I felt myself being shifted. I got my eyes to focus, and above me I saw Sephiroth's distraught face. His silver hair fell to cover me, and he swept it over to one side. He was saying something, but I couldn't hear him.

I saw people running from all directions, and saw Zack and Tseng at the end of the hall. I was picked up and cradled against a warm chest. I couldn't support my head, and it lolled away from whoever was carrying me. I saw Reno ushering people out of the way. I also had a good view out of the window, where a tiny figure crouched on the roof of a neighboring building. It held something dark and long. It clicked in my mind, and the realization gave my body the ability to finally move. Adrenaline helped a lot.

I grabbed hold of the person who was carrying me and focused enough to see Sephiroth. I clutched his hair as I swung my body to the floor. Miraculously, it brought him down too. A small break sounded and a bullet whizzed by where his head had been. He stared at me in shock, not even looking up at the Turks heading for cover and moving to take out the assassin. My body became sluggish again, but I had enough control to smile at him. "S-sorry about t-that. You okay?" My vocal cords were a little off, and my tongue wasn't co-operating, making me stutter.

He laughed brightly and moved me to sit more comfortably against the wall. I was very embarrassed at my weakness, but I wasn't blushing for once. He sat beside me and smirked. "You really are amazing, did you know that?" I blinked and started trying to get my body moving again. "I really mean it. That looked pretty nasty. We don't know if I can survive a bullet through my skull, but we doubt it."

I smiled and rolled my head to look at Zack, who had plopped down on my other side. "H-hey."

He shook his head. "What am I gonna do with you?"

* * *

Cloud is great in this, I have to say. Poor him and his body hating him.

R&R please!


	6. Chapter 6

Just a funny little chapter with a tiny little movement in the plot, have fun!

* * *

I finally went to the cafeteria. They agreed that it was just some of the last dregs of mako leaving my system. So Zack took it upon himself to help me to go get food. I was dragged over to the table that was most empty. He put me down on the bench, and left to get the food. I sighed, and soon I was joined at the table by Kunsel and Reno. They already had their food, and Kunsel was eating as if he had starved for a week. Actually, all the SOLDIERs were eating like that. The Turks were just eating fast enough that the SOLDIERs wouldn't steal theirs.

Zack came back with Sephiroth in tow, each carrying two trays. The one that wasn't piled high was put in front of me, and another was put nearby. That one was huge. Sephiroth sat on my left side and Zack on my right, each with a tray with more food than I could eat in a whole day. If I thought that the other SOLDIERs ate like they were starving, than those two ate like starving wolves.

It was near horrifying.

Reno cracked up at my expression. Kunsel stealthily reached over to their third tray, only to have his hand snatched away. They were done with their first trays and started devouring the other one. I demurely ate mine. I couldn't tell you what it was, or if it was good. I was too focused on the men beside me.

I didn't want to get eaten, too!

Eventually, Tseng joined us. He glanced at everyone, and chuckled. "Zack, Sephiroth, I believe you've frightened him."

The General looked up from tearing apart… _something_, something hopefully edible. His eyes were a little wide, and he glanced at me. He swallowed and blushed. "It isn't our fault that we need to eat all of this."

I laughed. "It's just strange. I expect all of you to be dignified and proper." I glanced at Zack. "Most of you."

Kunsel cracked up, clutching his stomach. Reno joined him, clutching Tseng's arm as he gasped with laughter. Tseng tried to shake him off, but ended up giving up with a roll of his eyes.

Zack pouted, halting in his feast. "You guys are mean."

I frowned. "I'm sorry Zack. I just can't see you as a SOLDIER unless you're in the middle of fighting."

He pouted more. "Angeal always said that."

Sephiroth next to me put down his... meal… slaughter of edible ingredients? Whatever. He put it down, standing. "I believe I have some paperwork calling me." I looked up at him in confusion. "I'd like some company, would you like to join me, Cloud?"

I glanced at Zack, who had a sad glint in his eyes.

Sephiroth put an arm around my waist and helped me up. I blushed and protested. "I can walk all on my own, thank you."

The other man frowned. "Don't lie to me. I know what this feels like, and I know that you should get all the help you can."

He pretty much carried me out of the cafeteria and to the elevator. We were silent as we went up a floor, leaving the elevator and moving quickly to his office. He sat me down on the couch, and I sighed.

He sat beside me and slouched forward, arms on his knees. "I know that these attacks are painful. All SOLDIERs know. When they got their first few mako injections, they felt almost the same. Yours is worse." He turned his head to look at me. "I had so much mako pumped into me. Professor Hojo keeps me in the labs for days at a time, making sure that my levels can be controlled."

I frowned, not sure why he was telling me this. He smiled. "I just wanted to explain your pain, and to explain my behavior when we met." I nodded, glancing away from the glowing eyes. "After these shots, if I don't burn off the mako, I'll berserk. That's why I was in the labs anyway."

I nodded again, shivering. I remembered the fear in Tseng's eyes, and the murder in the General's. "I was wondering why Tseng was so terrified, but when I went into the room, I wasn't afraid. All I saw was Zack lying there, and then I heard Tseng's shout, and it was all I could do not to just keep shooting at you."

He stood and grinned. "Which is why the Turks will be perfect for you. Their motto is 'Turks take care of their own.' We at SOLDIER have barely any members left, after the mass desertion."

He sat at his desk, grumbling angrily. I smiled and shifted to make myself comfortable. He glanced up at me. "It's strange. Most people are terrified of me. Zack was the first to treat me as a human being. Then there's you. You seem perfectly comfortable here."

I stood unsteadily and moved over to sit in the chair in front of his desk. "You seem nice enough as far as I can tell. And you saved me from those terrorists."

His eyes clouded over. "I was too late. I should've been faster; I could've saved you from such a terrible experience." He sighed. "You must have been in so much pain…"

I looked around the office, and noticed the huge bookcase lining the opposite wall. It was packed tightly, and there were some books stacked on the floor next to the mahogany desk. I was on a brown leather chair and had moved from a similar couch, with a cabinet next to it. Sephiroth looked tortured.

I shook my head. It hurt, but it wasn't as bad as that mako. "Don't worry about it, Seph. I'm fine."

He smiled and handed me a report. "This is the official report written by President Shinra's son."

I looked at it, and was shocked. I was actually in it.

_The recruit known as Strife came into the room and took out everyone. The Turks assigned to protect us should be embarrassed by being outdone by an untrained rookie. He cleared out the room and left, all expressionlessly, moving on to clear the rest of the building. I noticed his clothes were blood-soaked, but saw no sign of pain from him. If he doesn't become another figurehead of Shinra military, I'll put him there myself. I sent Tseng myself; I wanted to make sure that kid made it out alive. Although one can only surmise that he didn't need the help. My father and I were escorted…_

The rest had nothing to do with me, but I felt a warm spark of pride that I made such an impression on Rufus Shinra. I handed the paper back to him. "I didn't know I was so ruthless."

He chuckled. "You're a lot like Zack, you know. You're both warriors, but your hearts rule you."

As if on cue, Zack sauntered in, walking around my chair and sitting in my lap. I grunted and tried to push him off. "Sweet Shiva, you're heavy!"

He turned and wrapped his arms around my neck. "But Cloud, you're comfy!"

Sephiroth folded his arms and raised a silver brow at us. "Zack, what have I told you about molesting our new friends?"

He looked like he was thinking hard. "Don't?"

I felt my legs start to go numb. "I might lose my legs soon, you know."

He laughed and got up to flop face first on the couch. Sephiroth sighed and ignored his muffled chatter.

All of a sudden, he bolted up, jumping up and down. "I got a plan!"

I stared at him with wide eyes. I didn't know him well, so I wasn't used to his outbursts yet. Sephiroth just sighed. "Is this a good time to remind you that your plans usually involve explosions or me getting laid? Or both?"

I sputtered, and Zack sighed. "No, not this time." He hopped up and down again. "Sleepover!"

The General groaned and dropped his head into his hands. "Good Gaia, Zack, please tell me you aren't planning anything unseemly."

He shook his head. "I'm not this time, I promise! Cloudy doesn't know us really well yet, so spending a night over at one of our places will be perfect!"

I just stared at them. Sephiroth was still hiding his face. I shrugged. "I guess, if it's fine with you guys, I'm game."

Zack grinned and did a couple squats. "How about tonight?"

I frowned. "I don't really have anything other than my grunt uniform and this suit to wear."

Zack grinned wider. "I'll tell Reno you won't be back tonight. I'll loan you some clothes till you get settled." He turned to the General. "Your place?" He nodded.

Zack dragged me out of the room, calling back to him, "See you at eight!"

I sighed as he tugged me into a run. I wondered briefly what I had gotten myself into.

* * *

Review to tell me how I'm doing!


	7. Chapter 7

This chapter might get a little angsty at the end. And WARNING! a hint of smoochy-smoochy, boyXboy. It's M, what do you expect? The Lemons will come later.

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Zack tossed countless shirts and pants at me, and the colors were baffling. Apparently, he liked colors. A lot.

I picked up a black tank top and some comfortable looking jeans. I was still tired after the events from earlier, and my movements were sluggish, even to me. Zack looked sadly at me as I sighed. He came up to me and gave me a gentle hug.

"I'm sorry for being so overzealous; it's just that I haven't been this excited in a long while."

I shook my head and pulled away. "That's unnecessary, you don't need to apologize. I'm just still tired, and your excitement is a good thing."

He smiled brightly, picking up the leftover clothes. "You can change in the bathroom if you want, but I don't really care. Nothing I haven't seen before."

I felt myself blush and I scurried into the bathroom. The shirt was a perfect fit, nice and snug, neckline a wide scoop. The jeans were a bit long, and they needed a belt, but after I rolled up the legs a few times, they could sit low on my waist. I looked into the mirror of the large –and I mean _huge_ –bathroom, I actually admired myself for the first time. The shirt cut off just above the line of the pants, and I could see a tiny strip of tanned –don't know how that happened –skin, and my hair was mussed and tastefully messy.

I would tap that.

I had realized not too long ago that I found men attractive as well, and I had had a small crush on one of the recruits my age that dropped out. But that was beside the point, and that was over and done with. I stepped out of the room, wondering what Zack's reaction would be. He was bent over his dresser, digging through piles of clothes, probably looking for a shirt.

Did I mention that he currently lacked one?

His back was lean and the muscles rippled with strength. His arms were very evenly muscled, but it wasn't overly so. He was unassuming, just looked like he liked to work out. You wouldn't know that he was deadly until you were already gone. I also had the chance to admire his nicely shaped ass. I leaned on the doorframe, attempting to look inviting.

He turned with a sigh and sucked in a small breath as his eyes traveled over me. With this shirt, you could tell the developing muscles in my abdomen, and I kept my eyes lidded, pretending not to notice his stare. I knew I was being a wanton flirt, but it was priceless to see Zack's expression. Based on it, I was confident that I would make some sort of impression on Sephiroth.

After all, he was the one I wanted to gaze at me hungrily.

"So what do sleepovers usually consist of around here?"

Zack licked his lips and cleared his throat, turning away. "Not much, lots of food and maybe we can coax Seph into playing a game."

I snorted, picking up my suit and wondering if I'd just take it with me. He glanced over and noticed it. "We have about an hour, so why don't you drop that off at your place?"

I nodded and bent over to slip my shoes on. I saw from the corner of my eyes as his raked over me again. I left the room and then the apartment, faintly hearing him let out a shuddering breath. I hurried down the halls back to the Turk wing, turning into the hall and knocking once on the door. There was a thump, and then a few shuffling noises. I shouldered the door open, neatly hanging the suit in the closet before waving to Reno who had barely managed to throw a pair of pants on.

I chuckled inwardly, noticing a little problem he had. I also noticed his gaze on my form as the problem got that little bit worse.

I realized then that SOLDIERs and Turks were just plain horny. I wondered if the General was just as bad.

I went right back to Zack's apartment, knocking and opening the door. He was sprawled on the couch, one leg over the arm and the other dangling to the floor. He was still shirtless.

"Hey, Spike, what do you wanna do till we go over to Seph's?"

I plopped into the chair, sighing. "Whatever's good. I'm still taking everything in, you know?"

He looked over at me and cocked his head. His lavender eyes were bright and curious. "Yeah, I guess you didn't expect to suddenly be best friends with the General and Lieutenant of SOLDIER, and then join the Turks." He still looked curious. "But you're okay with everything, right?"

I nodded, sighing. "All of this is unexpected, but I don't mind the change in plans."

We sat in silence for a while, but Zack wasn't one to be comfortable without sound or chatter. He swung off of the couch, heading to the small stereo and popping a CD in. Some strange techno song started playing, and he turned it down low, just background music. Zack flopped across my lap, sighing contentedly and stretching like a cat in the sun.

I grunted and tried to move him. "We discussed this earlier. My legs can't take this abuse."

He laughed just like before and shifted to somehow flip us, so he was in the chair and I was in his lap. I frowned, but he was comfy, and it wasn't awkward. He smiled, his eyes mischievous. I felt my heart pound slightly faster. It was those kinds of eyes that you could fall into. I mentally checked myself, not wanting to like the man so fast.

I wasn't really prepared for him to lean in and press his lips to mine. It froze me, and I was very much aware that this was my first kiss. He pulled back worriedly. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that."

I shook my head. "No, I'm sorry. That was actually my first kiss."

Zack's eyes became huge. I bit my lip, wishing to kiss him again. My mouth was tingling still. He cupped my cheek. "Is it okay that I took it like that?" I nodded quickly, chewing on my lip even more. He chuckled, leaning in again, pulling me closer. I moved my lips against his, very unsure of myself. I felt his breath hitch. He ran a hand through my hair, pulling me even closer. It was rough, and as soon as I made a pained grunt, he broke away, holding me at arm's length.

His eyes were wide. "Did I hurt you? I'm so sorry, it's the mako, I couldn't stop it. I-"

I interrupted him harshly. "I'm fine. It's not your fault." I nudged his hands away, straddling him. I leaned down to whisper in his ear. "How's about trying that again?"

He almost shook as I kissed his cheek, slowly moving to his lips. He placed his hands gently on my hips, and I put my hands on his shoulders. He smiled worriedly as I moved to place my lips on his. The kiss was feather-light, almost not even there. I was so uncertain, so inexperienced, I didn't know how to make the kiss into more. But I knew exactly well that I wanted more.

I parted my lips and the tip of my tongue brushed over his lip. He gasped and slid his tongue against mine. His hands were trembling, and gently seating me in his lap. That's when I had a flash of panic. I felt his half-hard erection against my ass, and I saw flashes of Wutaians, heard my own gasps and screams.

I leapt back, falling into the coffee table with a thud. The chair was overturned and Zack held his hands up on the other side of the room. He looked distraught. He was right next to the front door, which was being knocked on at that moment. He lowered his hands to open it carefully.

Sephiroth stepped in, glancing worriedly at me on the ground and Zack looking terribly upset. "What happened?"

I just looked down, getting to my feet slowly. I heard Zack make a strangled sound. "Seph, I'm gonna have to cancel, why don't you two spend the night together?"

I heard the General approach, felt him lead me from the room by my elbow. I heard the door close once more, and saw the older man open the door across the hall. I was lead in, gently and slowly, and sat on a couch. In my line of sight, I caught a glimpse of Sephiroth's boots as he sat on his coffee table. He reached out a hand, lifting my face with a finger to my chin. His eyes were sad, almost cautious, and I felt some of the fear bleed away.

"I can see what happened. You two kissed, and some things brought back bad memories." I nodded, refusing to let my eyes water. "It's alright to be afraid. What you went through was traumatic, and if I could've taken your place, I would've. No one should have to go through that." I just stared up at him, his hair curtaining his face and making him look angelic. And right then, he was my angel, my savior.

My hero.

* * *

I feel bad for doing that to Zack, but no matter how happy-go-lucky he is, he's a deep well of emotions... or he just blames himself for what happened to Cloud. And it's a good way to begin Cloud's healing process.

Review please to let me know how you like it!


	8. Chapter 8

It's been forever since I updated last, I know. I've been busy... It's no excuse, I say! But alas, it is the only one I have.

DISCLAIMER: Cloud is still all messed up. I think that should be made clear. Oh, and I'm going out on a limb at the end, it screws a little with everything, but I'm making it up as I go.

* * *

I spent the night at Seph's apartment.

He led me into the spare bedroom, sitting me down and patting my head. He left me alone, telling me that the bathroom was down the hall and that he'd check on me in a few hours. After about an hour I felt sick, and got up to go to the bathroom before I threw up in Sephiroth's guest room.

I made it out the door before I collapsed.

The burning was terrible. I managed to not puke on the floor, but I could barely drag myself an inch forward. Seph burst from a room, clad only in loose sweatpants. He dropped to his knees beside me and dragged me closer. My body wouldn't respond and instead shook violently. He picked me up and carried me into the bathroom, tossing me into the tub and letting water run over me. It cooled down my burning skin, and I could move a bit. He ran a hand through my hair and sighed.

"You'll be better by tomorrow. Relapses are common at this stage."

I wasn't all that comforted by that. He must have seen the look in my eyes.

He chuckled. "I know it doesn't _seem_ like it's going to end, but it will. I occasionally have my relapses as well. Actually, I just recovered from one when I knocked on Zack's door." I noticed a neat scar on his wrist, fresh looking, and stared pointedly. He sighed. "It's a way to burn off the mako. Cause an injury and allow it to heal so many times that the excess is removed from your system."

I nodded slowly. I understood the theory involved. He poured some water he gathered in his hands over my head, and I sighed. It took a while for me to be able to move again, and when I could, he helped me get back to my temporary room. He left for only a moment and brought back a pair of sweatpants that seemed small enough to fit me decently. He helped me out of most of my clothes, but turned around to give me a bit of privacy. Once I was finished, he turned and looked at me sadly.

"It might be a while until you'll be ready to start training. But," he said with a small grin, "if you're anything like I think you are, you'll start soon regardless."

I smiled slightly. "Y-you know me w-well I guess." I frowned at my unsteady speech.

He frowned. "That should be gone soon."

As I sat there on the edge of the bed, I realized that I hadn't actually slept since before the attack. The thought made me yawn.

The general smiled and patted me on the head. "Sleep. You need it."

He left and I lay down on the soft bed. I was out instantly.

_The wutaians were back, and I was tied up. I was on the ground, eyes wide as they all came at me. Images flashed; me lying in a pool of blood; me impaled on a long blade; Zack banging on glass that was separating us; the wutaians; a girl in pink, looking to the sky; a horrid man on a bed in a gaudy room; me tied to an operating table; the wutaians; me watching over Reno on a hospital bed; a silver haired teenager; the wutaians; a demon carrying me through the skies; the wutaians; the wutaians; the wutaians…_

Sephiroth was hovering over me, a glint of fear in his eyes. I sat up, forcing him back some. I was bathed in a cold sweat, and I had screamed my throat raw. He breathed slowly, staring in concern. I heard a banging.

"Um, Sephiroth?" I said weakly. "Are you going to get that?"

He glanced towards the front door, which you could see from my open one, and went to it quickly. He opened it and through my open door, I saw Zack burst in, panicked. He saw me and ran over, kneeling beside the bed.

"Oh Gaia, I heard you scream and I thought something had happened to you." He was hyperventilating and about to start sobbing, and I scrambled to stop him. "I'm so sorry for what happened, I'm so sorry it brought back-"

I covered his mouth quickly. "Shut up. Don't be sorry, it wasn't your fault, and I didn't even know that would scare me so much."

Sephiroth had been silent, and I glanced up, trying to get his help in calming Zack down. He was caught in the doorway, a green shine to the wall he was staring at. He was focusing intently, and then he turned to us. He dove at the bed and picked me up, dashing away with one of Zack's arms in an iron grip.

After a few moments, the part of the building we just escaped was an inferno.

Shinra was bombed.


	9. Chapter 9

I'm back for my subscribers! I don't even remember having any on this story... But I like to pretend.

WARNING: Tiny taste of Yaoi, just a little sprinkle added on near the end.

* * *

I stayed silent, and as soon as he put me down I bolted for the nearest weapons storage. I didn't get that far, picking up a gun that a dead Turk had been carrying. I whipped it around, shooting a Wutaian in black. Zack was taking out a smaller man, who was dropping out of a vent. Sephiroth was dashing back to the SOLDIER quarters, probably looking for survivors or intruders. I glanced up at the ceiling, thinking of Shinra and his son. Swearing, I ran for the stairs, taking them two at a time. I joined up with the man who helped me when I had the mako attack earlier. We heard gunshots on every floor, but we just kept running. We started going three at a time, almost flying up the flights. Only once did we run into any intruders, but it was a lot of them, and it kept up at least three minutes to kill them, and another minute to scramble up over the bodies.

We burst onto the President's floor, ushering his son out into the stairwell. I left him with the other Turk who would wait for the president, and moved on to clear all the rooms on the floor. Rupert Shinra was hobbling out into the hall from his private room, eyes wide in fear and bare except for a loose pair of sweatpants. He spotted me and rushed over.

"Leave the boy, get me out of here." I glanced in the room, and spotted a teen boy curled up on the bed, crying in terror.

I sighed. "I'll take you to the stairwell, but I'll have to leave you with another Turk. I need to clear the area for security reasons."

The fat man grumbled, but followed me as I led him to the exit. I only took out one Wutaian who was sneaking through the office door. I returned to the room, hurrying over to the boy and handing him what looked to be his clothes.

"I need to get you out of here. Can you use a gun?" He nodded and got dressed; he took the handgun I had from earlier, while I used one of the Wutaian's. We snuck through the floor, and secured all of the exits. We ran to the stairwell. With the now open door, I heard gunshots from not too far down. I slid down the railing, passing the President and his son, shooting a few of the Wutaians. The other Turk took out the rest, nodding to me. I gestured at the kid, and he followed me out. We shot a few people, clearing the way for our charges. I ended up picking up gun after gun, always trying to keep my ammo fresh. It was a messy job, but they got out alive, didn't they?

The kid had held his own, but was shaking by the time we got out of the building. Shinra bumbled on about something as I gazed up at the still smoking explosion site. I had a terrible feeling that someone was in trouble, so turned to the older Turk. He nodded, tossing me a small machine gun. I ran back in, stopping at the stairwell. After making sure the area was empty, I closed my eyes and _felt_. It sounds weird, but it's like I sent myself out through the halls. I got a feel of something from above, and headed up to search it out. It originated on the floor with SOLDIER and Turk quarters, and more specifically, a room that was on the edge of the small blast, and had a Turk and a SOLDIER in it. The Turk looked terrible, his skin mostly burnt off and the muscle blackened and crispy. His one remaining eye locked with mine, and I saw the pleading in them. The SOLDIER looked like he was in the same state not too long before, but was healing steadily. He was gasping and crying, obviously in too much pain to hold it back. They had settled not too far from the burnt away walls. The Turk dragged himself closer to me, gurgling something with his eyes trained on the gun by the door. I glanced at him and nodded, reaching to pick it up.

The SOLDIER, a dark haired man with a deep scar between his eyes, begged me with his eyes as well. I picked up his sword, not too far from his tortured form, and raised it above him. They looked at each other and I could see devotion in their eyes, a promise passing between them. I ended them at the same time, with their own weapons.

I dropped them hurriedly. I turned and froze, seeing Reno standing there. He nodded and turned, causing me to notice Sephiroth behind him. The man looked tired, paler than I had seen yet. He sighed and signaled for me to follow him. We jogged back out, gathering beneath the building's shadow. Zack was kneeling on the ground, staring off into the sky with grief obvious on his features, and Reno was pacing back and forth. Sephiroth pulled me close, holding me to his chest silently. I could tell that something far more terrible than I realized had just happened. They wouldn't speak, though, and I couldn't bring myself to break the silence.

It took weeks for everything to be repaired. Zack had gone missing, but no one seemed concerned about where he was. The few remaining SOLDIERs, of which Zack and Sephiroth were the only Firsts, spent all of their effort rebuilding. It wasn't so difficult, but they were disheartened to lose another two members. The Turks only lost the one operative, but he was a formidable member, and the loss hurt. I helped out with cleanup, but they tried to keep me out of it. They were grateful for my help protecting the President. It was almost a month later that I was sent to join Shinra and his son for dinner.

I think I've held you in suspense for long enough.

Reno spent an hour trying to get me to tell him why I was so terrified to see the man. "Jus' tell me, yo. None of us feel all that right around the guy, but you're freaking out!" I sighed and stopped pacing. I grabbed an envelope from the nightstand, taking out a photo.

"My mother kept this picture in a box. It's of my father; back before he left her when she found out she was pregnant." He sputtered and coughed, his cigarette falling to the ground. "I hadn't seen Rupert in the papers, so when I busted into the room to kill the terrorists, and he ordered me out, I wasn't surprised."

"But Cloud, you're the president's son. In all rights, you should be in a position of power, head of something, and we should be guarding you day and night. You could be like a general in the regular army!" He was freaking out, but I shook my head. "Why not, yo?"

"No one can know. My mother would be uprooted, and I would be placed on a pedestal. Rupert hates the Strife name as it is, but if I show up and steal his son's spotlight, then I'd be as good as dead." I sighed and straightened my new uniform. The Turks had changed to blue suits recently. "I need to go. If Zack comes back when I'm gone, text me. I'll get it when I get done up there."

Oh, I got a PHS. We usually called it a phone, though. Simpler.

I stepped into the elevator, sighing deeply. I _really_ didn't want to sit there and listen to my father. It almost closed when a hand shot out and held the doors. It was Sephiroth, dressed in his regulation dress uniform, rather than his normal leathers. I raised an eyebrow, and he sighed just as much as I had.

"Shinra wanted me to join him for dinner. It's a formal occasion, so I need to put on this monkey suit. And where are you headed?"

I gestured to the lit up button for the president's floor. He huffed, slouching a bit. I stared up at him, admiring his broad shoulders and lean muscles that couldn't even be hidden by the uniform. He looked back at me, his eyes dancing with a light I couldn't decipher. It reminded me of excitement and also of apprehension.

He looked beautiful.

I reached up unconsciously, standing on my toes to brush my fingertips below one of his eyes. I will never know what came over me, but I took hold of a lock of his hair and pulled him down, kissing him lightly. He cradled my head in one hand, and my waist in the other arm. He pressed our lips together again, only breaking away when the elevator slowed to a stop. I was breathless, and his gaze was warm and comforting. I felt safe in his arms, like nothing would even try to hurt me.

We put about a foot of distance between us as the doors opened to the hall leading to the dining room.

It turned out to be filled with heroes from the recent battles, attacks, campaigns, and so forth. He never even looked at me, despite the fact that I was sat right next to Sephiroth. Most were SOLDIERs, but there were a fair amount of Turks scattered about, mostly standing guard. Throughout the first course, I kept my gaze on the plate and tried not to laugh at the little comments Sephiroth would make. After dessert, while we were having coffee and wine, I jumped when I felt the older man's hand rest on my thigh. Somehow it didn't scare me at all. If anything, it made me a little hot when he stroked higher, a just barely brushing my manhood.

Yeah, I just said manhood. I feel ridiculous.

I brought my hand over to his leg, running my nails over it, steadily moving higher. I could feel his breath hitch, but he never skipped a beat as he talked to Tseng across the table. We escaped as soon as we could, and when we got into the elevator, he gently pressed me to the wall.

"Do you know what you do to me?" I shook my head, parting my lips and panting slightly. He groaned. "I shouldn't even be touching you like this. You make me so hot, though."

He swooped down and captured my lips again, snaking his tongue into my mouth. I moaned at the intrusion, never registering the door opening. Sephiroth whipped his head around, staring into grief-hardened violet-blue eyes. Zack looked at us brokenly before he turned away and down the hall to the cafeteria.

I went to chase after him, but Sephiroth shook his head and went instead. He told me to wait, and he would come by my room as soon as he had calmed the SOLDIER down. The thing is, I stopped the elevator on the floor below, running up the stairs and going after them. I found them in Zack's office, and it looked like the man was perking up. He glanced at me and smiled, but it didn't even come close to reaching his eyes. Sephiroth scowled at me, but motioned for me to come in anyway. I walked over to Zack and threw my arms around him, burying my face in his chest.

"I'm sorry."


	10. Chapter 10

I shall honor the request of a certain **Reeda **and I shall pick off of my lemon tree for this chapter.

**WARNING! **Lemony. Yaoi. SEX! Sephiroth OOC (but it will make sense eventually).

* * *

Sephiroth ushered me out of the room when Zack got a faraway look. He brought me back to his room, telling me to wait on the couch. He moved to get coffee and a nearly empty bottle of whiskey. He put the coffee in front of me and took a swig from the bottle.

"I have some things to tell you about Zack. And myself." I blinked, my eyes going wide. He shook his head. "No, not like that. Well, a little bit." He sat down beside me and draped his free arm over the back of the couch so he could face me slightly. "This will be a little hard, as it is one of the few things that I can find myself cry about. I guess you can say it started when I first became a part of the SOLDIER program.

"I was introduced to a few recruits, who were just starting boot camp. They still had at least two years before they could even apply for the program. I took special interest in their training along with Tseng, who is a bit older than me, and the Turk SiC at the time. I came to notice two who had the potential to far outclass their peers, although they hadn't reached that point; a redhead, Genesis Rhapsodos, with a bright personality, and Angeal Hewley, his solitary best friend. I watched them as they tapped into their hidden abilities and flew through the training almost as fast as I had. Tseng and I had dinner with them right before they were to choose which branch to join, SOLDIER or Turk. I found out that they were my age, as I was quite young for the program due to Hojo's experiments. They chose SOLDIER in the end, and while Tseng was disappointed, I was thrilled. I got along very well with them, and we became as close as any three men. After a time, Genesis and I fell in love, and although Shinra didn't quite agree with homosexuals, we were irreplaceable fighters.

"Genesis eventually, deserting the company. That was around the time Zack was accepted into SOLDIER second class. Angeal became his mentor, and at some point before Angeal also deserted, they fell in love as well. By the time everything was over, we had both been broken severely. We stuck together at that point, knowing the same exact pain and not wanting to share it. I have never seen him so destroyed. When he gets that look, he's sinking back into the depression, but he prefers dealing with it on his own. He and I naturally became lovers to relieve the depression. Neither of us cared that the names we called were not each others. We took the time to heal, and one day we just stopped. That was the day Zack smiled again."

He had steadily finished off the bottle. "But you were still broken." He nodded, turning his head fully away. "And you want to heal."

He nodded again. "I want to love again, but I don't want to hurt Zack in the process."

I knelt in front of him. "Seph, being touched by you, I'm not afraid. But I can still feel their hands on me, and sometimes I can still smell them. My dreams are haunted by their laughs. I don't know how to get better for you."

His eyes got huge and he shook his head furiously. "You don't need to do anything for me. Just get better on your own terms. I'll help you. Whatever you need me for, I'll be right there."

I just crawled over into his lap and kissed him. He pulled away quickly, cautious I guess. I leaned in to whisper in his ear.

"Make me forget them. Make me unaware of any touch but your own."

I could sense his control stretch very thin as he jumped up with me in his arms, hauling me into his bedroom. He was gentle as he laid me down on the queen sized bed, and I scooted up against the pillows. He looked incredible as he slinked up the bed in his formal uniform. His hair was even neatly braided, something I hadn't noticed. He reached down and held on to my tie, tugging me forward. The kiss was fiery, searing. His tongue probed my mouth and took its time exploring. He tasted like whiskey and spices, something masculine and delicious. He unzipped my jacket and started to unbutton my dress shirt. I took the time to free his hair and untwist it so it flowed free, if not a little wavy. He got my shirt off, and ran his fingertips over my stomach. I carefully undid the buttons on his jacket, pulling it off of him to reveal –unsurprisingly and frustratingly –a simple white undershirt. I tugged on it and he broke away to pull it off. He looked me in the eye and smirked, watching me rake my gaze over his torso. His skin was pale and his muscles carved from stone. I would have drooled if I didn't know that more was to come.

He bent down to kiss and bite my collarbone, one hand reaching into my pants to wrap around my half-hard erection. Soon he had me a writhing mess, moaning his name and clutching his head to bring him down into another scorching kiss. Once I was sure he wasn't going to stop kissing, I reached for his belt, undoing it with a metallic clang. I tossed it to the side, somewhere near where his shirt went. I worked the button loose and groaned at encountering some complex system of ridiculous buttons. He chuckled and got off the bed to undo them with a practiced ease, eyeing mine like he wanted to rip them off. I undid them before he stopped me, taking both the pants and boxers and pulling them down as I arched my hips to make it easier. He must have liked the pose, since he groaned lightly. I watched as he faced my cock while licking his lips. He ran his tongue up the side before he engulfed me almost to the hilt.

And not even bragging, but I was sizable.

He sucked and he sucked hard. About half way through I noticed him getting a bit out of rhythm, and looked down to see him jacking himself in time with his bobbing. I moaned his name when I saw this, not quite believing it. He opened his eyes and looked up at me heatedly. I came right then and there, it even took me by surprise, but Seph handled it well enough. He pulled off, still pumping himself. I reached over, adding my hands to his. He leant his head on my shoulder, moaning softly. I realized dazedly that it was best we didn't go all the way yet. I whispered in his ear, "That's right. Mmmmm just keep pounding me." He shook and came with a shout. He and I laid there on his bed for a while, just holding each other.

Yeah, I guess it was too sudden. I really should've gotten to know him better. Found out why exactly Genesis had been driven to desert. It was a big mistake. But I'll get to that part soon enough.

As it is, we fell asleep that way. I woke up to a cold bed and the scent of Reno. I jolted up, glancing around. I was back in my room, in bed in only my sweatpants. I glanced over to where Reno was swearing and trying to get dressed through his perpetual hangover. He noticed me looking and cocked his head. "What?"

I just shook my head, wondering if everything had been a dream. I got dressed as well, but my tie had vanished. I shrugged and yawned. It hit me that I must have left it over at Sephiroth's. I reported sans tie, since Tseng would probably just ignore it. In fact he looked me over and said that he's glad someone finally realized that it wasn't actually part of the uniform, just for formal occasions. I sighed in relief.

I went to training for the first time. My first order of business? An obstacle course. It was a doozy of one, too. High wooden walls with no added handholds, large traps that were hard to avoid and even harder to get out of, small tunnels, thin wires to walk across, and rope mazes that were easier to strangle yourself in than figure out how to get into. I hated it with a passion.

When I finished, Reno and the overseer, Showecker, applauded me. I had thought that I did horribly. Showecker assured me otherwise. "It reminded me of a former friend of mine. He went through it with ease, but he had done it for fun thousands of times. You went through in the same style. Most new guys freeze up and give up after the first spike pitfall."

Oh yeah, I almost got impaled by spikes. It was great. Not. Then I got to do the whole thing AGAIN.

I was, needless to say, exhausted by the time I left for lunch to go grab food before I passed out. I saw Zack sitting by himself at a table so I brought my food to sit with him. He glanced at me with a sad smile before he continued to slowly finish off a medium sized tray of food. Yeah, as soon as I noticed he was eating slowly, I knew something was wrong.

"Zack."

He looked up at my stern tone of voice.

"I swear to Gaia that if you pass out because you haven't been eating enough, I will fucking stab you up the ass with your own giant-ass sword."

He stared at me blankly for a while before he fell over laughing. The whole cafeteria went silent for a while before turning away with various levels of confusion. He finally got up from the floor and hugged me. "Oh jeez, that was just what I needed. I haven't heard anything that funny in years."

I huffed. "Sure."

He grinned at me. "Can we talk later? I need to get back to the office, and you need to get back to training soon. Come to my place after you're done, okay? Based on average Turk training days, you won't be done till at least nine." I nodded and he left with a chuckle and a cheerful whistle.

I was so so so lost.

I went back to Reno and he told me that we were going to learn basic medical procedures for the field. It was easy enough and when he let me go at 9:30, I wasn't even tired. I went over to Zack's room, glancing at Seph's as I knocked. It didn't magically open to reveal the man to drag me back to his bed, as I half expected. Zack opened the door and ushered me in with another chuckle.

It looked like the place was freshly cleaned, but I could catch a hint of alcohol scent lingering. It was old though.

He sat me down and looked me in the eye. "Look, Spike. I'm sorry that I freaked out before. I'm in a bad place right now. I was upset, but I realized that not only is it better for you this way, but I can't really handle that stuff right now." I frowned and looked away. "Don't feel guilty; it's definitely better this way. Seph has been down for a while, and while I was too, I recovered much faster. You'll do him a world of good and maybe even be the one thing he feels the need to live for." He sighed and sat beside me. "He has never really had a drive for anything. He grew up in a lab, was told what his purpose was from the very start. He found something, but even that was taken from him."

I leaned against his shoulder and he stroked my hair. It felt nice, calming. "Zack?" He made a sound to show he was listening. "Why did Genesis leave?"

He shrugged. "I got here after that whole thing. Angeal and Seph never told me. I assume it was for the same reasons that Angeal left. But I don't know why he did either." He looked upset again. "Seph and I always wonder if it was something we did. After all, they did end up together last they were seen."

I shook my head. "No, I can't imagine you doing anything that would push someone away like that." He gave me a pointed look and I chuckled. "I'm a special case. I'm damaged goods."

There was a knock on the door and Zack got up to open it. Sephiroth stood there angrily. "What are you doing with Cloud." I could tell it wasn't even a question. It was a threat.

I stood to fix the situation. "We were talking things through." He didn't even look at me as he grabbed my arm and dragged me out. He hauled me into his room and left me in the middle of it as he went to the kitchen to finish cooking something. After a few moments of shock, I turned to leave, but he was there with ungodly speed, blocking the way. His eyes were glowing green, tinting everything in the room. I started to get scared.

"Zack!" I yelled loudly. Seph snarled and went to backhand me. I ducked and glanced around. There was an air vent that still hadn't been secured from that attack, and an open window. I just had to get there and hope there was something to hang onto. I stood slowly, eyeing him readily. I heard Zack shouting and banging on the door, giving me a distraction as Sephiroth turned to it. I bolted, jumping out headfirst. On the floor below was a small balcony that I landed on. Kunsel was on it and looked up when Seph yelled after me. I looked around, noticing several balconies close together all alone that floor, so I ran and jumped across them, only encountering a few problems with people. Most were third class SOLDIER, but some were regular army officers. I just kept going. It wasn't until I ran out of balconies that I stopped. There was a window very close that looked to lead into the hallway.

I hurriedly swung over to it and shouldered it up so I could squeeze through. At that point I saw an elevator next to me and realized where I was exactly. Directly below Tseng's office. I had to find people to keep the situation calm if Sephiroth found me. So I took the elevator and swung into my boss' office without knocking. Tseng had been talking to Reno.

"What is it, Cloud? You look like you've been running in a windstorm."

I gasped for air, just realizing the panic I felt. Reno swore and ran over. "What is it, buddy? You're safe here."

I nodded, calming down. They helped me up and into a seat, despite not needing them to. I looked at the Wutaian with a frown. "Tseng, does Sephiroth ever act strangely?"

He raised an eyebrow. "There is nothing 'normal' about him. Everything he does is strange. What are you referring to?"

"Does he ever lash out or act violently to people he's close to?"

Reno sputtered. "What did he do?"

I shrugged. "That's another matter."

The redhead sighed. "Well, he does. Did anyone tell you about Genesis and Angeal?" I nodded. "Ever since Genesis left him, he's been different. I barely knew him before that, but I could see the difference. It only got worse when Genesis and Angeal told him that they had fallen in love."

Tseng huffed. "Courtly love. Non-sexual love, simply an emotional bond that they never would take beyond holding each other. It's a shame really."

I just blinked at him, but didn't comment. "So Seph is just afraid of someone leaving him alone again?" Reno shrugged. "But then why would his eyes glow?"

Tseng jumped up. "That would be because he was in a state of semi-berserking. He needs to be brought back to the labs to drain the mako that's overwhelming his system."

I stood. "I'll take care of it. Thanks." I saluted and left the office, feeling their eyes burning a hole in my back.

I made my way to Sephiroth's apartment and saw him and Zack standing around in the hallway. Zack looked up at me with wide eyes. "Cloud! Seph told me you jumped out of the window! He sent a grunt out to check the ground for a body."

I looked up at the man, but he seemed lost. He was just staring at the ground, shaking slightly. I walked up to him and moved his face so he would look at me. "I'm fine, Seph. See? I'm not even hurt. I'm just a little shaken." I saw a glint of something in his eyes so I guided him back to his couch. Zack stood outside the door, debating coming in or not. I gestured for him to get out and close the door. I turned back to the man whose eyes were now raking over me in concern.

"Okay, I need to get the extra mako out of you. Will you let me do that?" He nodded and I searched around for a knife that wasn't used for cooking. "Do you have a pocketknife?" He nodded again, fumbling for his pocket. I went over and got it for him, trying not to set him off again. I took his hand and pressed the tip of the sharp blade to his skin before cutting him open along the scar. It healed immediately with a stream of green light. I redid it at least three dozen times before it slowed down and Seph stopped me.

"Thank you."

I nodded, backing away to go to the kitchen and wash the blood off of my hands and get a cloth to clean the blood off of his wrist. He just watched me, glancing at the window once. I sat back on my heels and looked up at him.

"You were berserking, so it's fine. You didn't mean to get so angry."

He nodded, clearing his throat. "I was frightened for the first time in a long while. I thought I had driven you to kill yourself." He leant forward and wrapped me up in his arms. "Never ever ever do that to me again. I'm sorry for acting as I did. I'm just so scared of everyone leaving me again."

We stayed like that for a while, but eventually I had to get up. He let me go and watched me with pleading eyes. I sighed. "Just let me get some stuff. I'll be right back."

He stood and went with me, simply watching me as we walked back to the lounge the two branches shared equally. Offices for the Turks were on the floor above, and SOLDIERs on the floor below. I turned to him and poked him in the chest. "You need to stay here. I'll have trouble deflecting Reno as it is. And Showecker, the old ninja he is, will probably sniff you out all the way from guard duty."

His eyes got wide and he nodded. I thought he was acting strange, like he was in another world acting out the scenario in another place. I left him to grab my things from the room, and another suit for the next day. Reno wasn't there, but I had the strangest feeling he was nearby. I shrugged it off, hurrying back to Sephiroth to find him sitting in the empty lounge. We went back to his rooms, settling my stuff in.

He took my hand and led me to his room. He pushed me back onto the bed and kissed me deeply. It was sloppy, almost as if his mind was somewhere else. I brought him back by undoing the buckles on his leathers. Eventually, after some "accidental" brushes over his most sensitive parts, I got him stripped and rock hard on the bed, looking up at me from a halo of silver. I undressed and crawled on top of him, planting ghostly kisses over his stomach and chest. I took his hand and started sucking on three long fingers, trying to give him the right idea. His eyes flashed and he reached behind me to insert one slicked digit. It was somewhat awkward for a moment until he added another and started finger fucking me. At one point, after adding the third, he hit something that put spots in my vision. I moaned loudly, making him chuckle and remove his hand. He guided me over his cock and nodded, letting me take it at my own pace. I went down slowly, letting myself adjust before I motioned with my hand for us to switch positions. He switched fast, so fast that I barely noticed before he slammed his cock into me. I gasped, not quite believing the pleasure out of it. After a few more thrusts I gasped out his name, feeling him hit that spot again. He grinned wolfishly and pushed my knees to my chest, thrusting harder before wrapping a hand around my member. It was an overload, and it wasn't very long before we were both coming hard. It was a unique feeling, being filled like that.

We laid there until we caught our breaths. He grabbed the sheet that had fallen to the floor and laid it over us, along with a blanket I found on the floor on my side. He held me to his chest and nuzzled the top of my head. It hadn't really hit me yet that I had just slept with the man I had idolized for so long.

I didn't have any nightmares that night.

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I'm still making this as I go along. Suggestions will almost always be honored and incorporated. Reviews make me write faster! Especially from my more loyal readers...

*Cough cough* review *cough*


	11. Chapter 11

Sometime later that week, after every night in Sephiroth's arms, I went out into the city on a mission with Reno. When I told my lover about it, he was livid.

"What would possess them to send out an untried, untrained, incapable trainee?" he shouted from the bedroom as I cooked dinner. The question stung, since I actually wasn't half bad.

I turned to him as he stormed in and sat on the kitchen counter with a huff. "Well if I'm so very terrible at my job, then they're just trying to get rid of me, I guess."

He glared at me and moved over to the oven. He shoved me aside into the counter and went on with the meal. I sighed and went back to the front door, leaving quietly. Just as I stepped out of the door, I felt cold arms surround me and pull me back inside. "Just promise that you won't do anything reckless."

I nodded and he let me go. I went down the hall to Tseng's office. Sephiroth was extremely volatile and a little violent, and I wasn't sure how much of that was due to mako treatments and how much was due to his personality. Tseng was very small in his chair in his office, gazing out of the window with some sort of implacable expression. He cleared his throat and the Wutaian turned to me with a scowl.

"Your mission is special, Cloud. Reno will assist you, but you and he are going undercover completely unaided. You are infiltrating the slums and investigating recent disappearances of grunts going in to flush out any last bits of rebellion. It is simply to investigate, not to take them out. Not yet. We'll send in groups of Turks and SOLDIERs to take them out after you find them. Reno is waiting in the garage."

I went down to the garage and Reno was there with a motorcycle. He was wearing ragged, bloodstained jeans and a gray, similarly stained and tattered sweatshirt with black boots and dark, triangle sunglasses. He looked good in a slum rat type of way. He handed me a set of dirty, grimy clothes and tan combat boots. I cocked my head and he tapped his foot impatiently. I glanced around the private Turk garage and no one was around, so I shrugged and changed. They fit snuggly. I got some dark worn jeans with grease and blood stains, a thin duster with tears all over it, and some baggies of dirt and grime. We spread the dirt over us, especially our skin and hair. I strapped my handgun to my leg, letting it be in plain view. Reno had a shotgun strapped to the side of the bike, and a gun on each leg. He got on the bike and I got on behind him. We drove out by way of an underground tunnel. It led out of Midgar so we could enter unsuspected. After about an hour of driving, we came out into the plains a few miles from the entrance to the city.

Reno killed the engine and turned to me. "I know Tseng told you what the mission was. What he didn't tell you was that we would have to pose as lovers." I frowned, nodding. "It's risky, where we're going, so we need to be very careful. We might have to kiss and such, but only to help the cover." I nodded again, making him frown. "You're cool with all this? Makes life easier." He sighed and flexed his jaw a bit. "Now, our first thing is ta get ya ta talk like yas from the slums. I gots it easy, I used ta live there, an I know the ins and the outs a the place. Used ta be a junkie and a prostitute, but that was 7, an we goin ta Wall Market."

I was surprised to hear that Reno had a past like that, but I supposed that it wasn't uncommon for Turks to have come from those types of backgrounds. I was the exception. I sighed and shrugged. "I'm not sure I can be convincing. Do I have to talk like that?" Reno thought for a while, but then he shook his head.

"Ya came in from the mountains. That's where AVALANCHE came from. Ya can say that yas from Nibelheim and fed up with the scientists there. Maybe that one hurt ya or somethin." He fiddled a bit while he looked into the distance away from Midgar. "Ya, one a them raped ya when ya was a kid. That works as well as anythin. Oh, one molested ya Ma and then raped ya, and she killed herself afta. Ya want revenge."

I nodded and filed the story away. I doubted it was fully enough to support going against Shinra, but it was good enough to get us through the mission.

We saddled back up and drove toward the city.

It was odd entering the Sector 6 slums. I hadn't seen this particular sector before, and I realized why. I had no need to associate with drug dealers or overly made up prostitutes. I didn't meet anyone's eyes so that I could stay the traumatized mountain boy. It wasn't all that much of an act. I was a raped, traumatized mountain boy. I just had to let it show.

We drove steadily all the way to a small city of bustling businesses. One building at the front was quite clearly a motel, based on the neon sign. A man stood out front calling to passerby that it was the perfect love nest. Reno killed the bike and brought it around to the garage to chain it roughly to a loop in the ground. It didn't seem too extreme based on the way people were ogling it. He took the shotgun off and they gulped. We went up to the door and we were leered at by the man out front, who Reno ignored as he led me inside. He wrapped an arm around me protectively and went up to the front desk.

"Yo, me and him, we're getting a room for a while." The woman glanced between us and took in our ragged appearance. She focused in on me and I turned my face into Reno's side. I heard her titter and mutter about how sad I looked.

"Number 24 upstairs. How long you gonna be here?" I noticed her accent was slight.

"Don't know. Probly a while." He started walking away from her and I shuffled along beneath his protective arm. We were lucky I was so short, because it made the whole act easier. We got to the stairs and climbed them unsteadily. Once we got into the room, he let me go and I took in my surroundings. It wasn't bad at all, just as good as the inn in Nibelheim, but in a different style. It had a window in the far wall, and a bathroom connected to the wall next to the huge bed. Everything was in reds and gold, and the curtains were open to let in the neon lights from the buildings outside. I went over and drew the curtains closed so that we could be in privacy. Reno was fumbling in his pockets and brought out a small phone.

He put it on the nightstand and started undressing. "Get some sleep, we gonna need it tonight."

I undressed and got in the bed next to him and closed my eyes for yet another restless sleep.

_Zack was trapped in a pod filled with green liquid. That was the only thing I was certain of. Otherwise, everything was indistinct. I felt pain in my abdomen, but I couldn't move. I wanted to see what was happening, but my limbs felt too heavy to shift, too weighted down. Zack was watching me sadly. I wasn't sure why. He was nude, but that didn't make an impression on me. It felt normal. He stared in my eyes with teary ones of his own. It gave me strength for some reason, and I lifted my head to look down at myself. I caught sight of hands with scalpels and little tools and blood. Lots of blood. The thing was, it wasn't coming as fast as it should. It was sluggish, showing that I had been bleeding out for a long time. I looked up a bit to see men in lab coats attached to the hands with the tools, shining lights down onto my stomach. I started breathing hard and tearing up. One man looked at me with a leering grin and I felt pain in my whole body. I screamed and screamed, tearing my already raw throat, thrashing wildly. They tried to restrain me, but it wasn't working. I broke free of the straps holding me down and ripped away from everything attached to me, IV drips, heart monitors, everything. I spotted Zack in his tube and took the rolling lab table I had been on. I swung it through the air, with my muscles- smaller than they had been in the past- bulging and veins protruding beneath my skin grotesquely. It smashed through the glass of the pod and I kept swinging it to throw it at the scientists in the room. I felt my wounds closing and I ripped off the metal that was around Zack's wrists. He collapsed into my arms and I ran haphazardly like a crazed animal. I dodged bullets and ripped people apart limb from limb. Eventually, my body weakened, and I sank to my knees near a stairwell. Zack pulled away and picked me up and started running up the stairs followed by soldiers just as everything went black._

I woke up with a jolt in a cold sweat. Reno was leaning up on his elbows and looking at me curiously. "What did ya dream about?"

I shook my head. "Nothing really."

Reno looked at me strangely before shrugging and getting out of bed. "It's time ta start the search. Get dressed."

We threw on the clothes and headed out of the motel and he looked around briefly. He started off into the inner city.

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I should be getting more chapters in the next week or so. Review to make me write faster!


	12. Chapter 12

This is a small chapter, but one I think my Honeybee Inn fans will giggle about. Not too funny, but I saw the humor...

**Disclaimer** I don't own any of these characters or places. Maybe a little of the plot, though.

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We were well known in the slums by then. Reno and I, we were the hottest couple in Wall Market. The girls would coo and such when Reno wrapped an arm around me in a protective gesture, and guys would somewhat watch out for us. They heard our story and were determined that nothing else would happen on their watch.

Ren and Cloud, they were a good match. Ren found his little boyfriend when he went out of Midgar to make a delivery to Chocobo Bill. He was in Kalm on his way back, and he saw a little blond getting dragged into an alley. He was putting up a fierce fight, but it couldn't throw his two attackers off. Ren made a split second decision to save him, and beat the shit out of them. He took the teen up to his room and took care of him, found out his story. They stuck together from then on. In a few days, they went into Midgar and into the Sector 7 slums to Ren's tiny room and left for Wall Market to find the remainders of resistance. They wanted to help with the cause and overthrow Shinra, or at least give them hell for as long as they could.

Obviously, I was Cloud, and Reno was Ren. We were setting a meeting with some important folks in the Honeybee Inn. It was one of the biggest spots for meetings possible, and also the least conspicuous. Reno and I took careful note of that information. We got dolled up in new clothes but kept our boots and guns and my jacket. Reno, I guess that I'll call him Ren for now, held his shotgun tightly. His other arm was around me and regardless of that my back was straight and my shoulders squared. We made a tough looking pair, and the girls at the Honeybee knew that we weren't customers. The girls in bee costumes flitted around and eyed the other men coming in. One came up to us.

"Your meeting is in the Group Room. This way." She led us to the left into the first room, and opened the door for us. A small group sat inside. Most were Wutaians but there were quite a few that weren't. They all seemed arranged around a woman sitting on the raised edge of a Jacuzzi. Her hair was cropped close to her head and her arms and legs were faintly muscled. I could tell because she wore a tank top and tiny shorts. She was pale and dark haired, clearly from the mountains, but so pale that she must have been there stuck under the Plates for years. Her sharp gray eyes were trained on them.

"Welcome, boys," she said with a rasp. "I hear you've been wanting to join forces with us."

Ren nodded and eyed her suspiciously. "First I gotta know what ya guys got planned fer us."

She grinned. "Oh I've got plans for you two." She signaled to a guy to give her a large folder. "We first need to know why you two are here. What do you want from us?"

Ren started to speak, but I nudged him harshly. "I have something against Shinra's personnel. Most workers have nothing to do with my grudge, so I don't want to eliminate the whole company. They push their SOLDIERs and scientists and overrun the small towns they force their reactors into. We had mako enhanced monsters attacking us at every turn, SOLDIERs taking advantage of us when they actually come to help us. The scientists are always there, hurting the townsfolk. We can't take it much longer, and some of us have been getting terminally ill from the mako running into our water supply and the waste filtering into our air. I'm the only one without anything more to lose, so I came to represent us and try to save us from them."

I filtered all of this from truth, and knew that his voice was harsh and unforgiving. The woman eyed me appreciatively. "Very good, kid. Where are you from?" I told her Nibelheim. She nodded sagely. "I'm from Gongaga. I know how it is. Or at least, I know how it was. Been fifteen years since I came to Midgar. I went to Nibelheim a few times, I saw how it was. Gotten worse, has it? That's a shame."

I nodded and glanced around at the men in the room. There were dozens of them. One was shorter than the rest and smaller, and he leant down to whisper in the woman's ear. She raised a slender brow and looked at me. "I hear there's more of a catalyst, though. Why exactly did you leave? You said you have nothing to lose."

I cleared my throat. "My mother and I were alone and hated in the town. I was never sure why. Because of our alienation, the scientists would filter in and out of my home, molesting me and my mother. She didn't know what they would do to me while they had her cornered elsewhere in the house. When she found out last year, she killed herself. The men were furious. They took over my home as a small lab. SOLDIERs came in and dealt with the monster problem, having their way with whatever townsfolk they wished. Since I was an orphan on the street, they took me in and used me as they saw fit. One tried to take me to the labs, and they tried to experiment on me, but I escaped. I ran from Nibelheim to Kalm, prostituting myself to get from day to day without starving. I have nothing to lose, and I want to kill the corrupted members of Shinra."

The woman whistled impressively. "You got a good case, kid. What about you, Red?"

He just glanced away. "Tired a livin under the Plates and wanna help him as much as I can. I been everything from prostitute ta drug dealer ta junkie ta assassin. I jus wanna get out."

She nodded slightly. "I need to test you two. Can you sneak around, Blondie?" I shrugged. "Okay then, we'll have to test you out then." She thought for a second. "In this building, a woman has a large jewel that she received as a gift from President Shinra. Find it and bring it to me. If you can do it without anyone knowing, you pass."

I nodded and thought for a second. I ran at the wall and used the momentum to take myself up the wall to reach the ceiling air vent. My fingers hooked in with one hand, and the other unlatched it to swing down. I was hanging precariously for a moment before I grabbed the lip of it to crawl in. Somehow I did this all quietly. I pulled the vent closed and latched it closed. I crawled through the vent towards the other rooms in the brothel. Looking below when I came to the next room, I cringed at seeing a customer thoroughly enjoying what he had paid for. With a man in a skimpy costume. I felt slightly like a lecher as I slinked to a fork in the vent. Listening carefully, I chose to go forward still, rounding to the room across from the entrance. Below, I saw a dressing room for the women in the brothel. They were chatting.

"I love when Shinra comes here." Bee 1 said with a high annoying voice.

"Yeah, the pay is great. If you get chosen, that is." Bee 2 complained with a raspy, buzzing voice.

"The president is supposed to come tomorrow. But he only picks Queenie. Sure, she plays the Queen Bee, but really? I would think he would like variety." This one was huffing. She seemed a little older than them, and wasn't in a costume. She was in a conservative suit and glasses to look like she was in charge.

Bee 1 sighed dreamily. "Queenie is getting older. Soon someone new will get to be Queen. I always wanted the Queen's Room. She even gets to live in the apartment above. I have to work harder to be second favorite, huh?"

Suit girl huffed again. "You'll have to be third favorite. Second is and always will be Honey. He _is_ our only male, after all."

They all sighed and I moved on. I needed to find the Queen's Room. I crawled my way to the next room, and saw a man and a woman passionately going at it. I was pretty positive this wasn't the Queen's Room. I went forward again, passing another fork, and coming to yet another vent. Below, I saw a woman in a bee costume with a small crown adorning her head. I sighed quietly and looked closely at the room to see if I could find a way upstairs. There was a door off to the side and it definitely wasn't the way to the main room. She left the room to the main room and I quickly unlatched the vent, dropping with my hand on the lip still, maneuvering to find the vent and latch. I took a handkerchief from my pocket and tied it to the inner latch with one hand. It would have to hold until I could get back. I dropped to the ground and crept to the other door. It was unlocked, and it opened to stairs that I climbed silently. At the top was a luxurious apartment that I wouldn't have expected in the slums. There was a vanity next to the bed that had a large jewelry box. I opened it with my sleeves to prevent my fingerprints from showing. Inside was all manner of gems, but none that were exceptional. That is, until I noticed that it had multiple compartments. I finally got the top self off and underneath was a ring with a ruby that was at least a pound. I grinned and nodded, knowing that I had found my target. I put the box back together, heading for the stairs. I heard the knob turn and dove for the bed, hiding beneath. Queenie came in and changed out of her costume into a normal formal dress. It didn't take her long, and she left with a small sigh.

I followed her out, seeing she left the inner door open and went out of the other into the main room. I counted my blessings and ran at the wall once more to attach myself to the vent. I got in and latched it, crawling swiftly to the fork and across the main room, seeing it through a vent. I went to the Group Room where I saw Reno was glaring at a few of the men. I dropped down, surprising everyone but Reno.

I showed them the ring and they all hummed in satisfaction. Turns out I had a job.

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Well, things are going well so far, eh? Let's see how long that goes. With Cloud involved, it's definitely gonna be an unlucky mission, but add in Reno? They're just as likely to sprout wings as to have it easy.

Review to keep me motivated!


	13. Chapter 13

**To my readers,**

**I have a poll up on my profile that I'd like some help with. It's for what one-shot I should do next. PLEASE give me a little feedback. So far there's only one vote.**

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from this story.

Warning: **Rape, torture, **possible swearing, cross dressing, **references to my other story (hint hint, wink wink, nudge nudge, cough*Valentine's Strife*cough).**

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Predictably I wasn't yet taken to the hideout. I had to prove my loyalty now. Reno was going to be used as an assassin, and he also had to prove his loyalty. The first thing they had me do is infiltrate Don Corneo's personal office and look for information on Shinra. They weren't positive that he was associated, but they wanted to find out. This was something I myself wasn't sure of. Reno didn't know either, but he suspected it.

I made my way to the building and snuck around the back. I found no clear entrances, and the windows were all barred. I figured that maybe the roof was an option, but after a quick climb up, there was no way in. I decided the front door was the only option. Reno told me that men were never allowed in, beside the front workers and the guards. I decided that I might as well infiltrate in disguise. I could apply to be a guard, or I could disguise myself as a potential girl for the Honeybee. I put the idea up to Reno.

"Applyin would take way too long. I says you jus dress up." I sighed and resigned myself to it. We went into a tiny clothing store that was entirely empty besides an older man who was eyeing me strangely. I went up to him and sighed.

"Do you have any dresses that would fit me?" He shook his head and said he'd make one. He asked what fabric I wanted. I huffed and exclaimed that I didn't know. Reno chuckled and handled it, claiming it was for us to use in the bedroom. This embarrassed me of course, but the man decided to not ask any more questions. Reno also went out and got a wig and lingerie, adding also perfume and jewelry. I looked at it all in genuine panic. When the man finished with the dress, Reno took me into the dressing room to try it on. The dress was red silk and tight on the top. I looked at it in the mirror and saw that I did look like a curvy girl. Flat chested, but curvy. The wig was long and curly, and we slopped some makeup on me. I threw on some heels that somehow fit, and looked at myself. I was a woman.

I walked out of the store and strode purposefully to Don Corneo's mansion. I went up to the door and the guard leered. "Well, little lady. You here to see the Don? I hope he don't have a good eye for girls today, because I want me a chance at that ass."

I turned my head at him and he huffed dramatically, ushering me in. He grabbed my ass on the way. I sent an elbow into his stomach with half my usual force. He puffed out a breath and shoved me inside. The man at the front desk gushed giddily and took my hand.

"Oh, little lady, you've come at the perfect time. The Don just rejected all of the women he was interviewing. I'll take you right up and he'll be so happy! See, he likes the tomboy types, and all we had today were overly rough or overly delicate feminine types. You're perfect!" He dragged me up the long staircase and into the large doors at the top. It was an ornate office decorated in reds and gold. A rather obese man sat in a chair behind the desk. When he caught sight of me he leapt over the desk with a lecherous popping sound as he unsticked himself from the leather chair.

"Ooohhwee. She's a beaut." He panted for a few seconds before coming around to stand in front of me. "I like this one. Why've you been holding out?" He stroked my face and I shook him off slightly. This only seemed to excite him further. He blubbered excitedly and dragged me by the arm into a room behind his desk. It was a gaudy bedroom and he threw me down on it. I forced myself to calm as he inched closer and closer, thrusting into the air disgustingly. He suddenly froze, grinning. "You ain't no broad." I scooted back some and he chuckled. "Don't worry, boy. I like your type too."

I shook slightly, fear overwhelming me. I suddenly felt helpless beneath this lion of a man. I thought of my mission, both from the Turks and from AVALANCHE and I steeled myself. I knew exactly why I had to hold out long enough to get my AVALANCHE mission done. Then I would probably find their hideout and wash my hands of the whole business. I _did_ think of Sephiroth and it broke my heart that I had to prostitute myself for my job, but it was something he wouldn't have to know.

I guess that was the moment I realized that being a Turk is a job that requires you giving your all.

It isn't something I like to talk about. It was painful. It was traumatizing. It still haunts me to this day. Corneo was so… disgusting. I might have cried at some point. He gave me some money, his phone number, and told me that I could leave whenever I wanted, or stay if that was what I was after. I nodded and he left, explaining that he had a meeting. I waited a full half hour and got dressed again. I slathered some makeup I found, trying to look somewhat respectful. It kind of worked, so when I stepped out of the room, I put on latex gloves and searched his desk. I found a file of check stubs that proved near irrevocably that he was being funded by Rupert Shinra himself. It was even better when I found some written correspondence and it detailed the credit card Corneo could use that was in Shinra's name, with the details and numbers, and the card itself in the bottom of the drawer. I briefly thanked Shiva that I had remembered to put gloves on. Then I stuffed them into a tote bag I had found in the bedroom and left the office with my chin high. Men ogled me but I ignored them and left the building, seeing Reno tailing me from the shadows. I ducked into an empty bar and he followed, handing me my clothes. I changed inside the bathroom, shoving the disguise into his arms on my way out.

"Cloud, how'd the night go?"

I shook my head and kept walking towards the Honeybee Inn. They were waiting for me there, and I handed them the bag. The woman watched them closely until they nodded. She stood and walked over to me with her hand raised for a shake. "I'm Elfe, the leader of AVALANCHE. Good to see you're one of us."

She offered for us to stay and have drinks, but I shook my head and she eyed me. I think she had an idea of what happened and she let us both go with directions to meet them that night outside the bar next door. We went back to the hotel. As soon as I was inside I fell to the bed trying to hold back tears. Reno put a hand on my back and offered to call Tseng and see if I could talk to Sephiroth. I shook my head and mumbled out that I wanted to talk to Zack. He quickly got permission and put me through.

"_Spike? What's going on?_"

I stopped trying to hold back the tears running down my face. "I feel so disgusting. It's almost done. But I can't wait to come home. I don't want Seph to know about any of it, but I'm so scared he'll know when he sees me."

Zack sighed on the other line. "_You can't tell me right now, can you? You're on a mission, I guess? I was wondering where you were. I won't tell him anything's wrong, I'll even try to get him sent out for the day. Okay?_"

I nodded and sniffed. "Thanks, Zack. I'll call when I know when I'm coming back."

The call reassured me, even though nothing really came of it. He was like my guardian angel; just his presence was enough to calm me down. Reno leaned against the wall and gazed at me with an unreadable expression. His eyes were curious, but I knew he was just using his Turk mask. I wondered what it was that he was really feeling.

I fell asleep at some point. I had nightmares again, strange ones that I wasn't sure about. I saw Zack a lot. He and I were together, and he died to protect me. I couldn't move at all through the whole time. I also saw Reno die. He was in a hospital bed and I watched him fade into the air. It was like the stories. The Lifestream brings heroes directly into its warmth to keep serving the planet as angels.

When I woke up, it was getting dark and we had to leave. When we went to the bar, he had an arm around me and was glaring at the passerby. One of the men from AVALANCHE nodded to us and led us out of the area. We traveled deep into Sector 7, wishing we had a car or the bike. It was a long walk, and it was nearing sunrise when we got to an abandoned factory. I knew immediately that this was their hideout. I saw a man in a window near the top floor and my blood ran cold. Reno noticed the difference in me and held me tighter, thinking I was afraid.

We stepped inside the building and another man led us up two flights of stairs. We were in a large storage room, and the walls and ceiling were covered in beams and rafters. I braced myself and was ready for when three tried to detain me. I ducked out of their grasp and immediately climbed up a wall to cling to the ceiling by the rafters. I saw that they had Reno firmly and were dragging him off. I debated escaping, but that wasn't the honorable thing or the correct thing to do. I followed them from above and dropped down onto one's back. Reno flipped out and away from the other two, but they got a hold of me. I yelled for him to run, but he refused, snarling and attacking my captors, getting us both caught. Reno had enough free motion to take something from his pocket and bring it to his mouth. His hand was slapped away and a tiny pill flew across the room. Reno's face fell and became as blank as ever while they dragged us across the room.

I realized it was a suicide pill for captures. I didn't have one yet, considering I wasn't important to the company yet. I let them take me, just as Reno was. We were taken up three flights to a holding area with lots of doors. We were taken to different ones and inside mine was a white room with shackles hanging from the ceiling. The men attached me to them and I let myself hang, as I was too short to reach the ground anyway. They left me alone there for a while before coming back in. Elfe stepped in with a whip coiled in her hand. I didn't let myself react, and I scowled. "So I spend a night in the arms of the most unattractive man I have ever seen and it was for nothing? Give me a break."

She huffed. "Cloud Strife, Turk recruit. Don't pretend that you aren't. We have spies in the company." I stared at her blankly and she huffed again. "We knew you from the beginning. You and your friend over there, Reno. You came from Nibelheim, yeah, but not with the intention of saving your village. In fact, your mother is alive and well, oblivious to what you're doing for a living. So, I know why you're here and who sent you. Now I need Shinra secrets." I still stared expressionlessly. "Don't pretend you don't know anything. Turks are the keepers of the secrets of the company. Their job is to know everyone's business, from the confidential secrets to who the new SOLDIER is fucking."

I grinned. "Well, I guess you got that much right. Except, we only know who he was fucking because I found them in his room on the edge of the blast site, and had to kill them off. Poor guys. He was a Turk, but I couldn't recognize who it was. Too much of his body was burnt, you know?"

She snarled and cracked her whip across my chest. I took it with a gasp, the impact not so much to make me cry out. I was pissing her off, of course. It's what I was told to do in the event of capture. I was supposed to use whatever I could to keep myself from spilling answers. So, witty banter was my choice. I assumed Reno would do something similar, or just stay blank. He seemed good at that.

"Let's start small. Who gives you your orders?" She cracked it in the air in an attempt to warn me of the outcome of my banter.

"Well, if you can't figure that out, your spies are blind, and so are you," I said with a sigh. That was called for, however, and she didn't whip me.

"How much power does the President have directly over you?"

"He cut my paycheck the other day. Pissed me off, and I flung mashed potatoes at the back of Tseng's head for making me deal with him."

She sighed. I know she knew I was telling her in odd ways. I had no reason to deny anything, since it was obvious what the answers were. They were splashed all over the world.

"What does the Development Department have planned for below the plates?" The question seemed irrelevant but I remained cautious.

"If it were up to me, I'd send out a group of SOLDIER germaphobes and give them some Lysol. The lemony power would do this dump some good."

She decided to whip me this time. It was harder than the last, and I grunted in the pain. "That doesn't answer my question."

"It doesn't answer any question. You think yours is special?"

"Who is most likely to defect from the company among the SOLDIER commanders?"

I thought for a second. I really thought about that one. It was a good question. Apparently I made a face that she didn't like and she whipped me again. "Ow! I'm thinking, damn it!" She lowered her arm briefly. "Probably Sephiroth."

Her eyes lit up. "Why would that be?"

"There's never enough food in the cafeteria for him, and on Wednesday it really sucked."

She howled almost like a cat and brought the whip down across me. "Fucking brat! How dare you play with me?"

I started laughing, I really did. That was a good one, and I couldn't help it. "It's worth it, it really is. Your expressions, they're hilarious!"

She went behind me and whipped me about a dozen times. I'm proud to say I didn't cry out, but it really hurt. A man came in and he had blood on his hands.

"Boss, the other one passed out. Want me to work this one over?"

She threw the whip on the ground and stalked off, slamming the door shut behind her. I glared at him slightly.

"Hey there, Turk; seems we got a breech in security back home."

He smiled at me good naturedly and punched me in the face. I gave him a fake offended look. He punched me in the stomach, which was made worse by hanging. He worked me over pretty well, and at some point I blacked out. It was probably when he took my right leg in his hands and snapped the bone in my thigh. Sounds about right.

When I woke up, I was chained to the wall with my arms spread apart, low enough that I could sit. I slumped forward, noting that I was shirtless now. I looked around, seeing Reno slumped similarly on the wall left of me. My leg was throbbing and my back stung. I whimpered slightly and Reno looked up. His tattoos had been carved from his face. He smiled slightly, hissing as it stretched the gashes. "Hey, partner. How'd ya do?"

I grinned back. "I pissed off Elfe so bad that she lost it and started whipping me uncontrollably. Showecker came in and she stormed off." Reno chuckled and glanced at my leg. "Yeah, I may have pissed him off, too."

Reno shook his head. "Can't believe that Showecker is a spy. Next time, try to find out why he betrayed us. I might know, but it isn't a definite." I asked him his thoughts. "Well, Shinra tore apart the life of his old commanders. First it was Falcon, who he killed for some reason none of us know, cept we know it was him. Then the new commander was stuck in the boonies somewhere we don't know anymore and disappeared." He sighed. "Word has it that the two were lovers, and Shinra didn't like it, so he made an effort to separate them. Valentine was never heard from again. We assume he's dead, but Showecker and he were close."

I sighed. It was a personal issue from long ago. I remember them telling me that Falcon had died twenty years ago. There was no way to haggle with him then. We sat around making tiny jokes, making time pass.

"How many torture victims does it take to screw in a light bulb?" I shrugged. "They can't. They're afraid of anything that screws." I chuckled, shaking my head. It was crude, rude, and stupid. And it was quite possible if they decide to start screwing things into our bodies.

Eventually, I sighed and asked him if he had ever been captured before. He scoffed. "Of course! Every good Turk ends up captured at some point. It started back when our first commander was alive. He was captured on a mission along with a recruit. The recruit ended up breaking Falcon out and staying behind and making sure their airship wasn't followed. We always save our comrades, no matter the danger of capture. I saved Tseng's ass once. It was one of those incredible moments that I never let him live down."

"What happened?" I asked with a smirk. It sounded good.

Reno slouched. "Eh, just got into legal trouble in Wutai and I went to jail instead of him. Stupid really. He forgot to pay a bill at a restaurant."

It wasn't good. It was stupid. I sighed and leant my head over to my arm to rub my face on it. It had been itching for hours. Showecker burst into the room and threw a chair from outside it at Reno. He chuckled, shaking a piece of chair leg off of his shoulder. "Dude, that was amazing. Great entrance."

He sent a kick straight at Reno's face. It looked to have broken his cheekbone. "Elfe wants information that they never trusted me with. Wants the ins and outs of the love lives of the commanders. Wants the weaknesses of them, the dirt. She wants the ins and outs of the confidential missions they send their best operatives on. I need to know who that operative is."

Reno was blank. I decided to intervene. "How don't you know about the love lives? Who doesn't?"

He threw a piece of chair my way. "I'll get to you later." He looked Reno square in the eye. "If you don't give me something to work with, I'll have to hurt the little guy. I know you have a history of being a martyr, so you can't take it for him. Who is the secret weapon of the Turks?"

Reno smiled. "Well, they're on their way to being the second biggest secret weapon. So I guess it won't help you much."

He kicked him in the ribs. "Too bad I have to hurt him. I kinda liked the kid. He reminded me of Commander Valentine." He turned to me and landed a foot on my broken bone. I screamed, the pain getting the better of me this time. He knelt between my legs and took out a knife, cutting through my pants.

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Review please, guys. The next chapter will be dark and angsty and maybe they'll be saved, maybe I'll drag it out some. Depends on what you guys want.

**I want to thank all of my previous reviewers. I'd thank you all by name if I wanted to sift through and find you all. I currently have 10, and hope to reach 20 by chapter 25. I like to hear from you guys. If I ever hit 50 reviews, I'll post a bonus one-shot lemon with each of Cloud's lovers over his lifetime. Even the one's we haven't gotten to yet. Yeah, I did just bribe you. ;)**


	14. Chapter 14

I apologize deeply for the wait. I didn't mean to run away like that. No matter the excuses I can concoct, I was busy and had writer's block, plain and simple. I've started at least a dozen different stories and chapters and one-shots, but none for what I've already started posting... I'm so sorry to those who have been waiting, or care at all, and hope a longish chapter can make up for it.

**WARNINGS!: **Rape, torture, swearing, violence, death, so forth and so forth, Tseng being clueless.

I don't own any of this, cept Falcon, who is briefly mentioned here, and Showecker. Ah, the connections to all of my stories... I love making the stuff make sense.

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Reno's eyes were wide. I looked over at him and smiled lightly as the pants were torn off. The redhead looked away, not wanting to have to watch what he couldn't stop. I leveled my gaze at Showecker. He ignored me, twisting me painfully around so I was on my good knee and faced the wall. I heard a zipper and some quick light noises. Suddenly, I was being harshly penetrated. Of course, I was almost used to this, so I gritted my teeth and thought of other things.

I wondered how Tifa was doing. I wondered if she had completely recovered from the fall. I wished slightly that I had stayed to make sure, but I couldn't handle the torture anymore. I realized that I hadn't written to my mother. As soon as I got back to Shinra, I'd write to her. I didn't know if I should tell her everything. I decided to ask Zack if I should tell her about the attack and the rape and the mako poisoning and about Sephiroth. I then thought about Zack and how I had hurt him by choosing Seph. I thought about how he was my best friend. Then I thought about Sephiroth and whether I should tell him about everything that happened during the mission. I imagined him getting very very angry at me for subjecting myself to all of it. I decided to skip some of the worse parts. I thought of Tseng and wondered why he was looking depressed when I went into his office. I thought of that bald Turk, Rude, and wondered where he'd been lately, as I hadn't seen him since I talked Tseng into accepting me into the Turks. My thoughts cycled back to writing to my mother and in the letter asking about Tifa and all of the kids I grew up with. Then, I remembered my walk through Midgar when I first arrived, and seeing the redheaded Turk insanely shooting down dozens.

Even though it was in the middle of Showecker working, I looked over at Reno and realized that Turk was him. He was still looking away. I thought of the way I shot out so many in the terrorist attack, and my lips quirked upwards at the realization that I must've looked just as insane. This was when the man finished; kicking me to the side and zipping himself back up.

"Elfe will be back to question you now that you know we're serious."

He left and I twisted myself painfully around to face Reno. He still wouldn't look at me. "So… Any plans yet?"

He glanced up. "Wait till we either die or Shinra sends someone out to find us."

I frowned. "Great options, there. So we're gonna die."

Reno shrugged. "Turks have some great trackers, and we treat our own like close family."

"Not if the President orders them not to. And he will." I turned my head away. "Sorry for that." He asked why and I shook my head, my eyes flickering around the room, and he understood. The walls have ears.

After what felt like another hour, Elfe came in with a man. I carefully kept my expression neutral, as did Reno. She knelt in front of me.

"I get that you're new, but you gotta know something. Even recruits know something."

I shrugged. "I know so little that they didn't even give me a suicide pill in case of capture. So no, I don't know anything."

She sighed deeply. "You have a broken leg, whips across your back, you've been raped, and you still have snarky answers?" I nodded and cracked a tiny smile. "Cloud, I admire you, I really do. Are you sure I can't convince you to work for me?"

I stared at her for a long time, recognizing the seriousness in the offer. I was almost tempted, but I abandoned the thought moments after I had it. I couldn't do that to Zack and Sephiroth. They already had their lives uprooted by losing their lovers the same way. I looked over to Reno with a solemn expression. "I wish I wanted to."

She stood and left, the man hesitating and adjusted his sunglasses before turning and bending over to scratch his ankle. I noticed a pin roll towards me, in perfect range of my right foot. He straightened and left the room as well, shutting the door quietly. I smiled, glancing at Reno. He grinned like a predator and leaned his head back against the wall, eyes trained on the ceiling. I struggled with my good leg, trying to slip the boot off. It ended up that I had to bring my foot to my face, undoing the laces with my teeth. I finally got it off, and then the sock, picking up the makeshift pick in my toes. I reached my leg up, picking the lock on the cuff around my right arm. It was slow going, and I almost broke the pin, but eventually it clicked open and my arm fell to my side. I took the pin and undid my left hand quickly, rubbing my arms to get the blood flow back. I flipped myself onto my stomach and began crawling over to Reno, my leg screaming the whole way. I reached up and opened one of his hands, and he took the pick to open the other. He ruffled my hair, eyes sad.

"Okay, take stock. Escaping will be hard. We're underground right now. You have a broken leg and would likely be limping regardless. You need to be carried. Shinra ain't coming for us. Yo, we're screwed." I looked at him strangely. He hasn't come up with the obvious solution.

"Go."

"Wha?"

"Just go, I'll follow."

Reno stared at me and saw that I had a plan he wouldn't like, but he knew that it was in the best interest of the company. He nodded, going over to the door and picking the lock. The guard on the other side was quickly felled, and his gun used to take out the other one. I moved over there, ignoring the bone shifting terribly. He tossed me a gun and helped me into some pants. I followed him with it, providing cover for him as I went. I had an idea and kicked out an air vent. "Reno, in."

He nodded and dove in, almost silent as I replaced the vent. It allowed me to quickly make my way to the next stairway, shooting down whoever I came across as I got down on my stomach to drag myself up. They almost didn't see me at first; some didn't see me at all.

By the time I had army crawled to the first floor, not so far from the door, Reno had gotten out. I saw through the open door no one was looking out of that he was running down the way we came, hoping beyond hope that he wouldn't meet any opposition.

Me, however, I had plenty. I had Elfe, Showecker, three of the main operatives, the bald man from earlier, and the small man from the first meeting. They all had various weapons, except for the bald one. He was in a loose martial arts pose. Elfe had her whip, Showecker a Shinra regulation pistol, the small man had a series of knives, and the others had swords. I sighed, dropping the gun and standing up painfully. "Well, I got close, didn't I?"

She sighed as well, ordering all but the small guy to search the building for Reno. The two of them stared me down. No one spoke, and I hobbled closer, arms out. "You guys gonna do something, or are you gonna let me go? Just let me know so I don't stand here like an idiot anymore." They looked at each other and the small guy walked over and knocked me out.

It was one of those days that I really wish my humor didn't get me in trouble as much.

I came to back in the cell. I was yet again chained, except my ankles were chained to the floor too. It was certainly depressing to be back there, but I sighed and adjusted myself to sit as comfortably as I could. Considering the pain in my broken leg, that was hard to pull off, but I managed.

Elfe came back in again. She sighed heavily. "I would've expected them to send a team after you already. Or at least after you both. Reno seemed important." I shrugged. This seemed to make her uncomfortable. "I know what happened to you. Why don't you hate Shinra for that? What about this? Your first mission is so dangerous and you end up captured. You have to be resentful."

I shrugged again. "I don't blame the company itself. The attack you guys sent was at fault for everything. Sure, I resent certain members of the company, but not the general population. In fact, I'm on very good terms with my peers. I wish I could just defect and join the revolution or whatever people are calling this now. I couldn't do that to the people I care about and would be hurt because of losing another friend to desertion. It would kill them." I smiled. "Trust me, I hate Rupert Shinra as much as the next guy. That rude son of a bitch could use a good assassination. But I won't do a thing against the company. The Turks are a brotherhood, and I won't betray them." I looked over to the door to see the dark bald one outside of it who nodded reassuringly. I didn't let on that I had looked, however. "I refuse to betray the people who have taken care of me when I needed it most. Showecker may be weak enough to break that bond, and I understand the reasons, but I am not that weak."

Elfe nodded and stood quietly. She left without another word, the bald man stepping aside to let her pass. She took no notice of him, so he shrugged and walked in. I smiled at him.

"I was wondering where you've been, Rude."

He grinned slyly. "My main job is undercover, so not many people even know I exist." He glanced out. "Nice job, getting Reno out. You have talent."

I shrugged. "I just distracted them, it isn't that hard."

Rude sighed. "Shinra forces have been frozen in the matter of your rescue." I nodded, having expected that already. "They're keeping SOLDIER in the dark, and most of the Turks aren't supposed to even know that you're here. Tseng has made sure everyone was informed, so that if they happen to come across your trail, they'll go after it." He looked away. "Zack Fair knows something. Tseng has him in the office all the time. Apparently, Fair does a lot of screaming at him."

I nodded and pursed my lips. "I was given permission to contact him once before we were captured. It was directly after my AVALANCHE mission. I almost broke down for a second there, and he knows that something was, and is, wrong. Tseng will be able to handle it." He looked back at me. "I don't expect to be rescued. I also don't expect you to go out of your way to save me, jeopardizing the mission. Shinra must have ordered you to hold off, right? All I really want is some paper and some time to write a few small letters." I sighed. "If I die here I want to say goodbye to a few people."

He nodded and promised he would come back when he could. He hurried out, closing the door behind him.

I had nothing to do besides stare at the wall, so I tried to go to sleep. I suppose it worked, since I was jarred awake by gunshots. They sounded like they were just above me. I frowned, wondering what was going on. I figured it had little to do with me, but I couldn't be sure, so I listened intently. There was a brief clash of metal on metal, and I allowed myself to hope for a second. My heart soared when the gunshots began right outside the room for a moment before stopping altogether. I closed my eyes, hoping beyond hope that whoever it was thought to check the room, but not wanting to alert them in case they weren't friendly. When the door flew open, there stood Zack. He saw me and ran over. He broke the chains, not bothering to deal with unlocking them.

"Come on, Cloud, I got ya," he said while picking me up and starting toward the exit of the building. "Stay with me, bud. Don't pass out."

I was perfectly conscious, and even capable of walking, so I frowned at him and reached up to flick him in the nose. "I just woke up, don't worry about me. And you don't need to carry me, cept I'd slow you down." All of this shocked him so much he almost tripped. Instead, he laughed dryly and put on a little extra speed.

"Don't be brave, Cloud. You're skin and bones, covered in blood, and have all kinds of injuries." He chuckled. "You aren't getting on your feet in quite a while if I have any say in the matter."

I sighed and looked around. We had reached the entrance to the building and I saw Tseng giving orders through his phone, pacing back and forth. He noticed Zack coming closer with me in his arms and he visibly relaxed. I didn't realize that he cared so much, but then again, the Turks were a brotherhood, and he was our leader, our strongest brother.

I waved to him slightly. "How's business lately?"

His mouth parted a bit in surprise. It was like he didn't know what to do about me. His eyes were wide and his shoulders fell. "How dare you act so casually? We almost lost you!"

I frowned. "How did you get Shinra to let you move in?" He glanced at Zack and I realized that it was a discussion to have in private. "Where's Reno?"

He sighed heavily. "He's in the hospital, moping about. He feels guilty for leaving you here, and everything." I knew that he knew what "everything" meant. Zack didn't, however, and I planned to keep it that way.

We headed into the truck and I settled into Zack's side. Soon, I felt a pressure on my other side, and looked up to see Tseng sitting against me, offering comfort and warmth. I smiled and felt very tired. "Hey Zack?" He looked over. "Do you mind if I sleep now? I don't think I'm in much danger, and I haven't really slept since I left for the mission." He chuckled and nodded, telling me to go ahead and sleep. I snuggled into their sides, falling asleep.

When the truck stopped and jarred me awake, I noticed that one of my hands had unconsciously taken hold of Tseng's jacket sleeve. I let go quickly. He looked down with a small smile. They helped me into the building, and we got to the infirmary without too much incident. The doctors there frowned at my state and rushed to get my bed prepared. I looked up at Zack. "Where is he?"

He made a face. "He's gone for the day, some publicity thing. I think I was supposed to go, being his Lieutenant, but I had more important things to take care of." I smiled slightly. "Oh, and if you want, Tseng says he can keep Sephiroth from getting your medical records and the mission report. He'll know you were hurt, but he won't know the things you don't want him to."

I nodded gratefully, thanking Tseng and letting them help me into the bed the doctors had gotten ready. It was awkward, having to explain every single injury to them, with Zack there. He was getting angrier by the second, not to mention Tseng looking like he was coldly calculating the best way to kill the ones that got away. "Zack, calm down, I'll be fine. I killed enough of them that I can deal." I looked at Tseng. "Boss, be careful who you let near President Shinra."

He suddenly stared me down. He picked up that I couldn't elaborate in front of everyone else. He nodded, understanding.

"It appears you have found an insurgent in our midst."

Zack and the doctors all froze, color draining from their faces. A spy in the Turks is the very worst thing that could happen. We all knew how bad it could be. The doctors slowly began working again, and Tseng gave them orders to use the Cure materia on me. They panicked, claiming that it might not be compatible with my makeup, but he shook his head. They grudgingly healed me, and I felt a burning warmth where the wounds were mending. After a few moments, I was healed but exhausted, and Tseng dragged me to his office. Zack wasn't allowed inside, and he was threatened with sending him to see a "Scarlet" while wearing a speedo. Zack ran away very quickly, which I laughed at.

Tseng sat at his desk with both me and Reno in the chairs opposite. It was tense for a few minutes, and Reno sighed. "Showecker."

Tseng looked up sharply. "Excuse me? Showecker? Why in Gaia would he help the enemy?"

Reno made a disbelieving sound, eyeing our boss. "Come on, yo. Shinra wrecked Falcon and Valentine. He was pretty close to them. Valentine taught him most of how he fights. They had a very strong bond in their short time knowing each other. Showecker probably woulda been the SiC when the position next opened up, cept Falcon died, and Valentine named Veld, since Showecker was still in training." He shook his head. "It's clear he hates Shinra for everything that happened to those two."

Tseng slumped his shoulders. "I never imagined it was that bad. I mean, we all hate the company for at least a dozen reasons, but his are not only few, but not even loyalty to the rest of us kept him. He's getting on in years, too. He's been at this job for over twenty years, which is a record." I shrugged. This caught his attention. "What does that mean, Cloud."

I shrugged again. "Revenge knows no friends. Only enemies. He wants to avenge his friend and mentor, and I don't blame him. It's the rest of the company's fault for not seeing it sooner."

Tseng nodded. "You're right. Can you explain to me exactly what happened?"

Reno and I looked at each other. His eyes were sad, and they filled me with strength. I had to do this. Or I'd never be able to push past it.

"We got into Wall Market and began looking for the support we needed to get to AVALANCHE. When we finally got a meeting with them, we met at the Honeybee Inn. The leader, Elfe, sent me out on a task to prove myself, and I did, stealing the Queen Bee's jewel. They agreed to give us a mission to find out whether or not Shinra was funding Don Corneo. It was one messed up mission, and I don't respect myself for how I had to complete it, but I did. Shinra is in fact funding him." Tseng was visibly surprised, but stayed silent. "They took us to the hideout and ambushed us. We were separated and tortured. Showecker seems to be the muscle, not the intelligence. He gave me most of my injuries. I think he was that brutal because I pissed him off. They put us in a cell together, first mistake, and gave us time to talk and think and all that jazz, second mistake. Then Showecker burst in, throwing a chair at Reno, pretty awesome entrance, and asked Reno a bunch of questions. He didn't answer any of them, and in retaliation, he raped me and left. He isn't very good at keeping his cool, I noticed." Reno looked away, out the window, and seemed to be blocking out the conversation. "That's really all I have about him."

Tseng sighed. "How did you get Reno out?"

I smiled. "Funny story, that. Turns out Rude is with them, too."

"No." I frowned. Tseng was looking away again. "Rude was already there undercover on assignment. He didn't know about Showecker, somehow. You two were sent there under the President's orders. He and his advisers demanded the mission, despite that we already had the information he needed out of you. I'm not sure why he did that."

I laughed. "The fat bastard really outdid himself." They both looked at me curiously. "Well, he doesn't really like me. Turns out he's my unspoken of father. I saw his picture once in my mom's room in a locket. She said it was my father. So, I'm his son, and he hates me. I'm a good scandal waiting to happen."

Tseng's jaw dropped. "What else don't I know? This is ridiculous!"

I shrugged. "Well, Rude dropped a needle I used to pick us out of our shackles, and then we ambushed the guards. I couldn't get out with my broken leg, so I distracted them as Reno made his way out by way of ventilation ducts. You'd think they would have blocked those."

Tseng shook his head. "Leviathan, what is happening to the world? A rookie is showing me up in every field."

I shrugged. "Shit happens."

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I hope you liked it, and although I'll be busy catching up, I hope you'll continue waiting for the next chapter. I hope to have it up soon!

Thanks for your patience.

-Meadow


	15. Chapter 15

Cloud and Reno are home and safe, but he still hasn't had time to absorb anything that's happened since the terrorist attack. However, he still won't. When you're a Turk, time is a privilege and a curse. It just depends on how one uses it.

I don't own anything here, except the general plot, which has been running through my head for three years.

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I stayed around the Turks wing for a while. People congratulated me on the mission, on saving Reno, on everything. I heard stories about a time when the first mission was your final exam in training. Some of them swore that I'd be ready to be a full fledged Turk very soon.

It was around seven that I was in the lounge and looked up to see Sephiroth in the doorway. His shoulders were slumped and eyes trained on me. I stood painfully, my leg still injured, and took my crutches, which Reno handed to me. Seph grimaced at that and turned away. I followed after him as best I could, trying desperately to keep up. "Seph!"

He stopped, turning to me. "It seems your mission was a success. I trust that your comrades are back safely?"

I bristled. "That's all you have to say? No, 'Good to see you, hun.' No, 'Glad you're back safe.' No, 'You're hurt, let me help you.' That's it? I just returned from a long mission, and that's what I get?"

Sephiroth frowned. "You left me here with no idea of when you were returning. You never called me, and when I called you, the line was blocked! Tseng refused to let me through. And even better, you called _Zack_? You called him, rather than your boyfriend? And then, I get a letter from Tseng about the mission, and I find out you've been captured! Shinra refused to send out a rescue party. And they were calm about it! Tseng had all but written you off as dead or worse, a turncoat. I had steeled myself to have to send out the SOLDIERs after you to take you out!"

I deflated. "Seph, you don't understand. It's not like I never thought about you. I thought about you every day to keep myself sane. If I had called you, I'd have lost the composure I needed to fool them. I'm a Turk, Seph. I have a responsibility to my brothers to complete the mission at any cost. To do that, I had to go it alone."

He just shook his head. "At the expense of your relationship?"

I took a deep breath. "I suppose so, Seph. If that's how you react to this, then you won't be able to handle when I go on even more dangerous missions. Know that I'll never desert, though. I'm loyal to my family. The Turks are my family." I turned away precariously, heading the other way to the Turk living quarters. "I had considered you family as well. But no, you're about as much my family as my father is." I half expected him to try to stop me, but I got to my dorm fine. Reno, however, followed me.

He didn't question me, or try to get me to talk about it. He just stood by in the room, waiting to know what I wanted from him. I nodded gratefully. A few minutes later, I was lying on my bed and he was sitting on his, glancing occasionally at his picture frame. I sighed. "Thanks for waiting around, Reno. You really are a good friend."

He whipped his head to stare at me. "I don't know how I could be, yo. After that mission… I ain't a good friend."

I shook my head. "No, Reno. You stood by when I needed you most. You knew exactly when I needed help and exactly when I needed to be let go to go it on my own." I leaned up and smiled at him, looking down at myself. I was in civilian clothes, since I was off work for the day. The next day I had to report in and work with the files and paperwork.

He looked down. "I texted Zack. He said he'd be by in a few minutes." I nodded again, thinking of my friend and how he was going to react to what happened. I didn't have to think for long, because the knock sounded loudly a moment later. Reno called for him to come in, and I saw Zack glancing worriedly at me.

"Hey, Spike, what's going on?"

I sighed. "Seph broke up with me."

He froze for a second. "Wh-what?"

Reno nodded. "It was somethin, yo. He was pissed because of the mission. He doesn't even know what happened. It's such bullshit."

I shrugged. "He had a point, but then again, so did I, and he wasn't really listening to my point. His job isn't generally as all consuming as mine was on the mission. I couldn't do anything about it. I could've called him rather than you, but he would have jeopardized the mission."

Zack nodded and sat next to me on the bed. He ruffled my hair with a sad expression. "He'll come back to you, Spike. He was just so worried, and when you were lost, and Tseng had to tell him that there was a possibility that you deserted, he didn't know what to feel."

I nodded. "I get that. But I won't go after him to try to explain. He'll have to convince me that he wants to listen."

Reno smiled. "You's strong, Cloud. He should see that."

Zack stood. "Well, it's dinner time. You want to come down to the cafeteria for some food? It's some sort of turkey dinner meal, from what I hear."

"Definitely, I haven't really had a meal in a long while."

They flanked me in my crutches, making sure I didn't falter or trip. I greeted a few of the friends I had made, and when we went over the cafeteria and I saw Kunsel below just starting into his second tray, I fumbled for Zack's phone. He yelped as I reached into his pocket, but I ignored him as I texted the redheaded SOLDIER. _So how's the potatoes, Kunsel? From your face, they must be good._

I sent it and waited for him to get it. I saw him reach for his phone on the table, and read the screen, freezing before he looked around him. He texted back quickly. _Are you a ninja?_

We laughed loudly, my ribs hurting with the force of the hilarity. When I looked up at Zack, I noticed Sephiroth down the hallway, gazing blankly at us. I couldn't tell what he was thinking, and I stared right back defiantly, until he broke eye contact and headed through the side hall to SOLDIER quarters.

Reno eyed me curiously and Zack gaped, mouth wide open in shock. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"No one has ever won a stare down with Sephiroth, you know. I've never witnessed that."

Reno rolled his eyes and started down towards the stairs. There was no elevator directly to the cafeteria, so I'd have to deal with stairs regardless. They tried to help me, but I swung my crutch at Zack's head, narrowly missing. They backed off, Zack staying below on the stairs to catch me if I miss stepped. I made it down fine, though, and he sighed in relief. Reno forced me to sit beside Kunsel as they went to get food for all of us. The SOLDIER frowned at Zack, but didn't comment. I chuckled at his nervous glance.

"How's things been going while I was gone?"

He sighed heavily. "Boring, besides the whole thing about AVALANCHE. Apparently, some fool Turks were forced on a recon mission, and were captured. President wouldn't let any rescue teams go out. Rumor has it that they found a spy in the company, too."

I almost laughed at him not knowing he was looking at one of the Turks. The mission must have been top secret. I looked up at Tseng, who had just arrived at the table.

"Well, Kunsel, it wouldn't do to have the hero of that mission hear you say that. He risked his life for the assignment, even though his superiors merely sent him to imminent capture." He nodded to me in greeting.

I shrugged. "Well, I think it's pretty funny."

Kunsel looked at us suspiciously, before going back to devouring his food. Reno placed an overfill tray in front of me, and sat beside Tseng, and Zack sat next to me. His multiple trays hinted that it was mostly from habit of sharing with Sephiroth. He looked a little sadly at the spot across from him, but brightened up as he dug in. I ate everything I had, surprisingly, and Zack and I shared the last tray. I realized that it was probably from the mako in me, and smiled at Reno, who had only managed half what I had. We smiled at each other, comfortable for the first time in a while. We were clean, fed, and surrounded by friends.

None of the others knew about me and Sephiroth, so they noticed something odd about him not being there. We shrugged, though, and they figured it was due to an influx of paperwork.

Tseng asked us Turks to come with him, and when we left, we ended up at the briefing room with Director Lazard. I nodded to him, and he offered me his hand. "Good to meet you, Cloud. I want to formally extend my apologies for the President's orders. After your performance, I have convinced him of your talents, but he would someday like to see another great mission from you."

I nodded and shook his hand before hobbling to the seat I was offered. Tseng stood at Lazard's side, and Reno sat beside me.

"That may be sooner than you think. You are our Turks, and I trust that this information remains in this room." I nodded slowly. "There have been sightings of Genesis Rhapsodos in the mountainous area between Nibelheim and the center for the space program research." It was strange to me, but at the time, they didn't call it Rocket Town. "I'm concerned with how close that is to the Nibelheim reactor. It is doubtless that this is no coincidence. The obvious conclusion shows that Rhapsodos and Angeal Hewley are going to try to destroy the reactors. The reactor at Gongaga has already been destroyed. They attacked various other reactors around the countryside. It is unclear why they are doing this, but it is clear that that is their intention."

I looked down. Hearing about this made me worried for if Sephiroth and Zack found out. I wasn't sure if they would want to go after them, or if they'd sink into a depression. "I'm guessing that you're going to have us do something about it?"

He nodded slowly. "You would be correct. However, I realize that I can't send you out without a few squads of backup. I'm talking SOLDIER, not Army." Reno shifted uncomfortably. "I realize that we can't get them without speaking to the General and his Lieutenant. They will likely wish to accompany you. They and the others should be just enough to take out Rhapsodos, as long as Hewley isn't in the area. I'm putting you two in charge of informing and advising Sephiroth on who to take. Look at the squads in training, determine their abilities. Also, I have files on the target and Hewley. You are to study them and create a good battle strategy. You have four days to head out."

I frowned. "Four days, Sir? I understand that we need time for this, but isn't there a chance that by then it will be too late?"

He shook his head. "They seem to be searching for something. If he isn't there, he won't be far away. He also makes sure to evacuate the nearby villages before the explosion. He did that every time so far, and we're relying on that pattern. Even if he does blow up the reactor before you get there, he won't get far. I'm relying on you two to take them out or capture them. Try not to lose too many of the SOLDIERs." He frowned. "I know you just got back from a stressful mission, but you really are the best team for this. I couldn't ask for a more capable pair of young operatives. And if you're worried about your wounds, Cloud, the mako you were forced with will have accelerated your healing, as well as your appetite, as I'm sure you noticed. You'll be all healed up by the time you wake up tomorrow."

I nodded. Reno cleared his throat. "So how many are we authorized to take? What equipment?"

"You can take any two squads, from any class. If they already have missions, we can switch them. None have leave any time soon, so you don't have to worry about that. I'll brief your choices tomorrow at 1800. Your equipment includes a week's rations per man, light climbing gear for each, a medium sized airship, ask Sephiroth about that, and a budget I'll figure out by then for extra food and such in case you need to stay out longer. Oh, and camping gear. I'll have the Supply Sergeant from the Regular Army Squad 32 prepare it for you." He typed something on his laptop. "The secretary outside will give you the write-up and the files on Rhapsodos and Hewley." He looked up at me with a small smile. "Ah, I almost forgot. It's a bit early for your career, but if you make it back from this mission, I'm promoting you to full Turk rank."

I nodded, thanking him quietly. He turned back to his computer screen, typing rapidly. He glanced up at all three of us with a frown. "What are you still doing here? Execute!"

Reno and I stood quickly, me grabbing my crutches and hobbling away as fast as I could manage, and Reno was hurrying out the door. We took our own copies of the files and paperwork. We looked at each other and silently agreed that the first thing was to go see Sephiroth. I wasn't excited about it, but I knew it had to be done, and there was nothing I could do about it. We headed towards the offices, but I decided it would be a good idea to get my uniform on, since it was work we were doing. We stopped outside his open office door and I knocked on the doorframe. He looked up in surprise at us and motioned us in and to take our seats.

"To what do I owe this visit?"

I put my stack of files on the desk, folding my hands over them. "We were just brought in to the Director's office. I'm not gonna sugarcoat this at all; I hope you understand, but we're short on time. Genesis has been spotted in the Nibelheim area, in the mountains between there and the space program site." His eyes flashed, but since they remained at their natural brightness I kept going. "The two of us have been ordered to capture or kill him. This includes Angeal, if he is also found, though he hasn't been sighted there. We've been authorized to take two SOLDIER squads of our choice, with your and Zack's help of course. Lazard has also said that you and Zack can also come, and it doesn't hinder our squad limit."

He stared at me evenly for a while. It was quite a time before he responded. "How will this operation go about?"

I glanced at Reno, who was looking uncomfortable. "In four days we will be leaving, at our choice of time. Tomorrow morning we'll choose squads, and Lazard will brief them at 1800. At some point I need to get measurements for the Supply Sergeant we're using, and get the equipment from him, and we need to choose and reserve an airship. We'll also need to show the men the battle strategy, which Reno and I need to figure out." He nodded thoughtfully, eyes distant as he figured out the schedule. "The mission itself, we'll be out for a week, more or less, and we'll be camping out in the mountains during our search. Reno and I, and you and Zack if you choose to come, will head the fight, and the rest will provide extra eyes, ears, and swords. They'll also have extra medical supplies in case they're needed."

I kept a straight face as he picked up his phone and dialed. "Zack, get to my office immediately. It's important."

I sighed in relief. I was nervous about them being near their old lovers, but we stood a better chance of living with them than without them. It was hard for me to look at him evenly. I wanted to be angry, but I just didn't have the energy. I had a mission to prepare for.

Zack came in with a suspicious look towards all of us. "What is this?"

Sephiroth gestured for me to tell him. I looked at my friend, and saw that his eyes were hardening, waiting for some terrible news. I squared my shoulders, keeping my expression businesslike. "We are requesting you for an assignment to the Nibel Mountains to take out Genesis."

His eyes narrowed, gazing at me dangerously. "Don't spare me," he growled. Through the slits of his eyelids, I saw his eyes begin to subtly glow.

Reno stood and moved between us. I shoved him aside and stood even with my shaky, but manageable leg. I stepped smoothly closer to him, looking up into his eyes coldly. "If you listen to me without interrupting, I would explain to you the facts of the situation. However I must pause to warn you that you should not attempt to intimidate me or harm me in any way. I'm not some pushover frightened grunt, as you well know. Your mako eyes don't scare me. I have them too."

Reno backed away to stand beside Sephiroth, and I saw the man stand out of the corner of my eye. However, I never broke my gaze from Zack's and he eventually deflated, eyes dimming and turning from mine. I went over and sat, rubbing my leg where the break had been. The bone was still sore at that point. He sat as well, and Seph relaxed into his chair. Reno sat on the windowsill, keeping an eye on Zack.

"So, ready to hear what I have to say?" He nodded without looking at me. "Okay then. Pay attention. Genesis is the only one that's been spotted. We don't believe Angeal is nearby, yet. He _will_ get there eventually. Our hope is that we can take out Genesis before he gets there. With him out of the way, we won't get overwhelmed when Angeal gets there. Our main job is to keep them from blowing up the reactor. Everything else that happens will fall into place. If we take them out, so be it. If we capture them, so be it. If they agree to return, so be it. If they escape, so be it, and Reno and I will have to chase them down."

He looked up at Sephiroth. "But aren't they a bit too much for just the two of them, if that happens?"

I interrupted. "I intend to not let it get to that. My mission is essentially to not let them get away. I plan on doing that or dying in the attempt."

Seph looked at me sadly, at that, and I wasn't sure what was going through his head. I hoped that it was remorse for his outburst, sadness at the thought of me dying, or at least something to the effect. I wasn't sure, though.

Zack frowned at me, sizing up the mission I represented. "Alright. I'll go. Don't leave me alone with Angeal. Same goes for Seph and Genesis."

I nodded and stood. "I'll see you in the morning, then. Have the squads ready for our inspection at 0700. I'd prefer in the big gym, so we can evaluate them." Sephiroth nodded, and I realized then that I was ordering around the general of the Shinra army. "Is that all right with you?"

He blinked and composed himself. "Yes, Turk, that's fine with me. Report here at 0645 and I will take you to where we are."

I nodded and took my crutches to hobble out yet again. That felt better at the end, the way it was supposed to be. I wasn't supposed to be in charge. I was way too young and inexperienced, too small. The worst part was that being in charge felt natural.

I sighed a bit as we headed back to our dorm. Reno looked down at me. "Hey, what was that at the end, yo?"

"I shouldn't be ordering the General of the army around. I'm just a Turk in training."

He shook his head. "You've only been on five missions. Four were just assassinations, and you were flawless. The fifth was the most successful infiltration since our greatest commanders were alive. You're one of our best operatives. It doesn't matter how experienced you are. You're well on your way to becoming our new secret weapon."

I shouldered my way into our dorm, sitting on my bed and opening the files. "That isn't right. I can't be. I'm not good enough for that." I refused to believe him that I was that valuable to the company. Of course, being trusted with the mission to get Genesis, I had an inkling that I was. "So have you ever been to the mountains?"

He shook his head. "I always end up being on pilot duties when I go there. I fly over and around them."

I sighed, knowing that I would be in charge yet again, being from Nibelheim and knowing the mountains like I did. I also knew that very few of the SOLDIERs would be good climbers. It made the whole mission that much more difficult. I had to get some terrain maps.

"Okay, the way we'll go about that is get a few guys who're good woodsmen and can lead some people. It'll be four guys per squad, so it's also the four of us, and we need one guy who can climb per group of four, and preferably Seph in one group, Zack in another and the two of us in the third for fighting purposes. However, it might be hard to manage that, since we also need to keep our eyes on those two. I'll take Seph and you'll cover Zack. The third squad will have to stick at base camp. We can rotate who goes for each search." I looked up at Reno. "How's that sound for you?"

He shrugged. "You're the expert here. How'll we all come together for the fight?"

I flipped through. "We'll all have radios, so one of the other SOLDIERs will call for the other squads while a Turk and First go in to start the fight. The other pair will arrive as soon as possible and join. The eight other SOLDIERs will wait in the trees until we need help or Angeal arrives. We'll divide efforts accordingly, depending on the situation. We'll have to wing it at that point." I sighed. "This is really happening, isn't it? We're heading out to take out the two First Class deserters."

He nodded. "Yeah, this will be it for us. If this goes well, we'll be famous for it. It'll be our claim to fame, just like Valentine and his first mission."

I sighed deeply. I didn't really care about fame. I just wanted to protect my friends and family. "We better get some sleep. We have an early day tomorrow."

He shrugged and flopped down on his bed, immediately beginning to snore lightly. I didn't mind it so much. I felt the most comfortable with Reno there, and hearing him nearby would help me sleep. I knew I was going to have some permanent damage from the last mission, and everything that came before it, but it couldn't be helped at that point. I undressed and snuggled into the covers of my bed for the first time in a while.

I didn't even get time to dream before I was jarred awake by the light creak of the door opening. Reno was up with his knife glinting in the darkness. At the door was Showecker with a gun trained on me. I sighed heavily before swinging my legs out of bed to stand in just my boxers. I looked at him in annoyance. "What is it now? Can't I get any peace?"

He glared and tightened his finger on the trigger, and I ducked into him and brought my shoulder sharply into his chest. He staggered and I tripped him so he would land in the hallway. Other doors flew open to reveal the rest of the Turks in various states of uniform. I looked up at them and spotted Tseng running down the hall barefoot and with his dress shirt unbuttoned. I hadn't realized that he lived in the dorms too. He looked down at Showecker and shook his head. He knocked him out and hefted him over his shoulder. "Renning, come with me, we're taking him to the holding cells. I'll deal with him in the morning. Everyone get back to sleep. Our traitor has made himself known by all and he can't lie his way out of this one."

A man followed Tseng and everyone looked at me strangely. I realized they were eyeing my nasty looking new scars. I turned and went back into the room. Reno was back asleep, to my surprise, so I followed suit, having barely woken up to begin with. It was easy to sink back.

_I was holding Zack's sword and leveling it at Reno. We were in a church and surrounded by flowers. He was flanked by infantrymen and I heard a voice behind me. I turned to it and I saw the girl from Reno's photo. She told me to follow her, and spoke about me being her bodyguard. We were running from Reno, for reasons I couldn't figure. He and the infantrymen began shooting at us, and the girl fell to the ground from the second floor. I pushed barrels from the rafters to stop them, and she ran up to where I was. After that she turned to me and smiled. "A brave SOLDIER as a bodyguard. Aren't I lucky?"_

Reno shook me awake, eyes looking just as bleary as mine. "Come on, we gotta get to the offices. They want us there for Showeckers punishment. I guess it's also a warning that we shouldn't follow in his footsteps or something."

I sat up and looked over at him, realizing how messy and unhappy dream Reno looked. I quickly put it out of my mind, swinging my legs out of bed and grabbing the suit Reno tossed me. I dressed quickly. We were at the offices at around six, and I saw Tseng standing by a restrained Showecker. I sighed. I didn't really want to watch a secret execution. "This better not take too long. We have somewhere to be in 45 minutes."

He chuckled. "This will be quick. We're walking him to the roof, where he will commit suicide. He has already given his confession and suicide note."

I raised an eyebrow and followed the procession. They just threw him off the building, nothing special. I shrugged and went back down to the SOLDIER offices. Sephiroth was already in his office, and I went in without knocking. He glanced up from his paperwork curiously. I lounged on his couch and turned my eyes to him. After a while he went back to his work, and I just watched him. I knew he was increasingly frazzled every minute, by the way he fumbled with the papers. Eventually he huffed and slammed his hand on the desk.

"What happened on that mission?"

I smiled. _Bingo._ "Why do you ask?"

He growled slightly. "You know what I mean. I tried to get to the mission report, but I'm blocked from it. I can't get the medical report, either. And the surveillance cameras in the medical wing have the entire time you were there missing. What happened?"

I shrugged. "We completed the mission. The rest is top secret, and even if it isn't, it doesn't matter. I did what I had to."

He dropped his head into his hands. "Why won't you tell me? Let me understand. I'm sorry for yesterday, but I couldn't stand the thought of losing you. I was angry."

I stood and moved to rub my hand over his back. "I know you were. I understand completely. But you need to understand me, too. I have an obligation to the company. Besides that, I need you to let me do what I have to do. Sometimes, I have to do things that are dangerous, or crazy, or borderline suicidal. For example, if we don't bring at least Genesis down, then Reno and I are on our own to chase them down and kill them. So you'll have to let me go and trust that I'll come back. That's a part of our relationship, me being a Turk. I know you'll come back, at the very least you won't leave without saying goodbye. Me, it'll seem I've gone for good. But I wouldn't leave you like that, hon. Trust me this time."

He looked up at me. "Will you tell me what happened to you?"

I shook my head. "Not right now. We have other things to worry about." He was about to say something but I stopped him. "Trust me, Seph. It's better to wait until another day."

Reno came in with a tired smile. Sephiroth stood and swept out of the room with indications that we should follow. We ended up in the biggest gym in the building, every squad standing at attention in full gear. My eyes roamed over each of them. Zack handed control over to us, and Reno gestured for me to do the talking.

I walked up and stood in front of the entire battalion of SOLDIERs. The squads were arranged so that there was at least one Second class in each. There were ten squads. Each Second was on my far left, then came either another Second, or a Third. Then there were two thirds to complete the row. I frowned. There were two Thirds that I recognized from basic. They were staring at me in shock.

"A few of you know me as Strife. You can call me Cloud." They ranged a chorus of _Sir, yes sir!_ and I smiled. "First of all, none of that. I need us to be a little more relaxed. At ease." They all slumped their shoulders slightly and relaxed their arms. Kunsel put his hands in his pockets. "If any of you are good in the mountains, are campers, can hike pretty decent, raise your hands." Two people in the same squad raised their hands, and I shrugged. "Okay, Reno, keep an eye on them."

One of the guys from my basic huffed. "What is a Turk doing here? A Turk in training, actually." There was a light muttering going through the ranks. Zack was about to bark out an order, but I held my hand up.

"I have been ordered to take two squads and General Sephiroth and Lieutenant Fair and find the former SOLDIER First class Genesis Rhapsodos who has been spotted in the Nibel Mountains." They glanced at each other, fear creeping in. "Anyone else need more reason for me to be here?"

The other guy from basic sneered. I remembered his name was Jerry Regin. "You aren't good enough to command us. You couldn't get into the SOLDIER program because you were too weak."

I raised an eyebrow. _So that's the rumor that's going around about it._ I cocked my head at him. "So says the man who had to retake basic three times." His face began turning red. "So says the man who, in the roster of cadets, was fifteenth in a class of thirty. Mind you, I know full well that sixteen through thirty were dropped from the program. I also know that the third in the roster was five years younger than you."

He sputtered. "You dropped the program. You couldn't handle the program."

I shrugged. "Unexpected low mako tolerance. I had started treatments early, and discovered my inability to assimilate with the chemical, and so I was recruited by the Turks much earlier than their required eighteen." He looked down. It seemed they were defeated. I looked at the rest of them. "Anything else?"

Some looked uncertain still. I put my hands on my hips and looked over at the three of them. Zack stepped up, rolling his eyes. "You guys doubt the best upcoming Turk in twenty-six years. Bad idea. Cloud, are you healed up from the last mission?"

I nodded, guessing his intentions. "Would someone like me to show them why I'm the best?"

He pointed to the SOLDIER obstacle course. "That took them weeks to fully master. Go give it a shot."

I cracked my knuckles and gave it a once over. It didn't look nearly as bad as ours. I ran the thirty feet to the beginning and launched myself up the wall that was the first part. I finished it in about five minutes, and stood straight to smooth my suit. The SOLDIERs were staring at me wide-eyed. They looked at each other and I saw no doubt left that I could handle commanding them. I went back to stand in front of them.

"Okay, that squad there with the two who've had some wilderness experience, you're up first. Show me what you can do."

It took four hours to test and decide which squads were coming with us. We had three Seconds and the two Thirds, plus three other Thirds. I liked our group. I smiled and turned to Zack. "I return the rest of your battalion to you."

He nodded and dismissed them. I looked to Regin and gestured for him to come closer. He seemed to be fuming. "Regin, I need you to go to the Army Squad 32 Supply Sergeant and get his take on equipment. He knows what Director Lazard authorized, but he might have extras. Tell him to take it to the hanger to load in three days, but that we don't know which airship yet. Tell him I'll be down to talk to him tomorrow, too."

He frowned and eyed me. "Why are you sending me?"

I shrugged. "Familiar face, I already know your basic abilities, I trust you more than the others due to that familiarity, lots of reasons."

He looked deflated, and he turned to go. I smiled and turned to the others. "Mix up the squads and let me see how you get through the course. Four at a time." I pointed to four of them. "You four, go line up in front of the course."

They were in a line across, as if getting ready for a race. Zack signaled them to start, and I noticed exactly what I'd feared. One outshone the rest, and the other three occasionally had to struggle over parts of it. They were excellent, though, and I had no real criticism for them individually. I was most impressed with how the slowest guy persisted, and despite that he was panting and pretty much dying at the end, I liked his determination. They stood in a line at the end and I went to stand in front of them. I kept my face neutral.

"Simmons, I admire your perseverance, and hope that you keep it up. You'll improve quickly at that pace. Harding, keep your attention on the footing, you stumbled a few too many times for me to be comfortable. Fowler, I suggest keeping your cool. You panic slightly, and trip up. Gunterman, you did excellently." I hardened my gaze. "Overall, you four did terribly. What squad is made up of one man? What SOLDIER has too much pride to ask for a hand when he's falling behind? You need to stick together, or you will all fail your missions. Teamwork is the key when working with a group. Help each other, motivate each other, because if you lose one of your teammates because you didn't stop to give them a hand, then not only will you remember that forever, but you'll have failed your mission, regardless of what you accomplished."

They looked down, and I saw Regin walk in and hand me a report from the Supply Sergeant. I thanked him and sent him with the other three to run through. One guy filled him in on what happened as I scanned the report. I nodded approvingly, signaling for them to start the run.

This time, only one stood out again, but he held back and kept an eye on his teammates. I saw this and I knew we could make it through the mission. When Regin got to the rock wall, the standout was waiting for him to start up. He followed close behind, shouting direction when needed. Regin slipped once, but he was pushed back to get his grip. I was proud of all of them, finishing in pairs barely two seconds apart.

They stood in front of me like the last group, eyes anxious to know how they did. I watched them for a moment before looking at the standout. "Jenson, that was very good. You had no problem with any of the sections. Regin, you seem to have a bit of trouble on the rock wall, so I suggest you spend your free time until we leave to practice." I looked out. "If anyone feels they have any trouble on that, practice. That is an important thing for these mountains, trust me." I turned back to the group. "Hansen, work on your balance. Brigard, you were good with everything, but not quite outstanding. Keep working, I see good things out of you. Overall, you four," I smiled broadly, "did exactly as I had hoped. That's exactly what we'll need out there. Work on your individual skills, but as long as you do exactly that, we'll be fine."

I turned to Zack and Sephiroth, who were looking pleased. Reno cracked his knuckles and grinned. "I think I'll give it a shot. You tell them the plan."

I nodded and he jogged off, shedding his jacket and shirt. I gestured the two other SOLDIERs to stand with the squads. I took a deep breath. "The basic plan is this."


	16. Chapter 16

I Apologize greatly to all of the readers. I'd like to make excuses, like "Stressful time in my life" and "Busy with preparing for the future" and "I've been too busy with my new boyfriend" but even though they are all true, I should have still updated on this, even if just for the new subscribers and the old ones I wish to beg the forgiveness of.

Please enjoy the continuation of May the Strife Never End!

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The next few days went by in a blur of training and preparations. The night before we left, I was sitting in the offices at my desk, which I inherited from Showecker, and relaxing with my feet up. My thoughts were racing, yet my mind was pleasantly blank. No one stopped to talk to me, and everyone eventually went back to their apartments. I was alone in the whole wing; even the SOLDIER side was silent. I must have fallen asleep for a few minutes, because the next thing I knew, Sephiroth was shaking me awake gently. It was nearly midnight, by my desk clock.

"Hey, Seph. I didn't think you'd still be here. We need to get up pretty early."

He shrugged. "I had work to finish up before we left. You should be in your bed."

I shrugged too. "Can't bring myself to go. I stayed here and wrote some letters." _Just in case I don't come back._ I think he read my thoughts clearly, nodding softly.

"I don't have anyone to write to. All I had were Genesis and Angeal. Now it's just you and Zack." I gestured for him to pull up a chair and he chuckled as I crawled into his lap. "I always wanted to have a family to write home to."

I snuggled into his neck. "I just have my mom. There's a girl, but there was an accident right before I left, and I don't think she would want to hear from me."

"What about your father?" I knew he was thinking of how I referred to him during our argument. "Are you not close to him?"

I shook my head. "I never knew him until recently. So far, I pretty much hate him. He hates me, though, and has made efforts to get rid of me. I'm too dangerous to his other son. I might end up being the biggest scandal to overtake this continent in decades, if the media found out." I knew I had only sparked his curiosity. "I don't look like a Shinra anyway, do I?"

He froze for a second before turning his head to get a good look at me. "Shinra?"

I nodded. "I wrote a letter to him and Rufus, and gave them to Tseng to give to them only if I die on the mission." He frowned. "It's a very strong possibility. In fact, for me and Reno it could be a suicide mission." He tensed and wrapped his arms around me. "Tseng knows that if anyone could do this, we could, or die trying. It's fine with me. Sometimes I think it'd be best if I died on this mission."

"No." I tilted my head to press my lips to his neck. He shuddered, but held his composure. "I don't know if I could handle it if you were gone too."

I smiled. "Seph, have you ever thought about how things have been going for me lately?" He raised an eyebrow. "Since I came here I've done nothing except get hurt. Sure, I'm a hero even as I get hurt, but the things people have done to me, even just on that last mission… I haven't slept normally since the terrorist attack." I grinned. "Some of that time, you were the cause of that." He nuzzled my head. "I haven't been able to gauge how much permanent damage I have psychologically. Everyday life is busy enough that I haven't thought about how everything has affected me. I might want to die when things start to slow down."

He picked me up bridal style and dropped my sealed and addressed envelopes into the Turk mail drop. Our letters weren't screened, due to how fucking terrified we were of giving away anything that they would want to screen.

He carried me swiftly down the SOLDIER hall, shifting me to run his keycard through the lock. He kicked it shut behind us and took me to his bedroom, where he dropped me on the bed. "I won't let you find out how your dreams will be. I'll exhaust you every night so you never need to know."

I'd like to say we had a steamy night of lovemaking, but I would definitely be lying. I'm not saying that I don't _wish_ that that was how the night went. That would have been great.

No, it was right at that moment that our phones went off. Mine was making an odd alarm kind of sound, and his was the regular ringtone. We looked at each other warily and I sighed before taking it from my pocket. The screen lit up with Lazard's name, accompanied by "URGENT" in red letters below it. My heart sank a bit, not feeling good about it. I glanced at Seph's phone and it just said "Puppy", which I could only assume was Zack.

I frowned at the synch, and got up to step outside on the balcony outside his bedroom to answer mine. "Yes, Sir?"

He sounded a bit breathless. "Cloud, I need you and Reno down here ASAP, and I'll get Sephiroth and Zack. This might be trouble."

I paused. "No need, Sir. Sephiroth is right here, and he's on the phone with Zack. I'll get Reno, too. We'll be down in five minutes tops." He thanked me and hung up. I listened to the silence with a dread building.

I hurried into the bedroom and caught Seph chuckling at something Zack said. He looked up at me. He told Zack to hold on. Seph was frowning at me. "What's the problem?"

I took a deep breath. "We need to get to Lazard's office, _now_. Tell Zack, and I need to get Reno. Something's up."

He nodded and put the phone to his ear as I jogged out of the apartment. I called Reno, and he didn't answer, so I assumed he silenced it in favor of sleep. I burst into the room to Reno sprawled naked on top of the sheets. I grimaced and kicked his side. "Get up, Lazard needs us _now_!"

He bolted up and dressed hastily in sweatpants and our uniform boots. We ran to the stairs, expecting them to be faster than the elevators. We entered his office out of breath and eyeing the Director who was pacing in front of the big monitor at the end of the room. Sephiroth and Zack flew in and stopped dead at the sight of him, haggard and worried.

He looked up at us and sighed. "Angeal has been spotted near Gongaga. Either he's heading to meet Genesis, or he's targeting the reactor there. I'm asking you four for what you think we should do."

I took a deep breath and turned to look at the SOLDIERs, who seemed to revert to their fighting personas, and thus wouldn't speak. I noticed a glint in their eyes that I may have imagined, but could have meant they were poised to berserk at any time. I realized that the three of us were alone on this choice. "Sir, didn't Zack grow up in Gongaga? I doubt Angeal would do anything that might hurt his parents."

He frowned. "Well, he might anyway."

Zack glanced at him. "No, he wouldn't hurt my parents. The people of Gongaga are fine. The people of Nibelhiem, I'm more concerned about them."

I realized suddenly what he was getting at. "Shit. That's right." Sephiroth raised his eyebrows at me and Reno and Lazard looked lost. "The reactor is high on Mount Nibel, pretty much directly above the village. If that's destroyed, the mako released may travel down the mountain and into the town." They nodded in understanding. "So even if Genesis _does_ evacuate the people, their homes will probably be destroyed. The Gongaga reactor is very close to the town, but the explosion could easily be contained to avoid the village. Plus, the whole area is on the edge of a slope, which would take the mako away from the houses."

Lazard visibly relaxed. "Okay, then we'll keep on course. However, there's a chance that Angeal is merely heading to meet Genesis. If that's the case, I pray for you all to return."

We didn't know what to say to that, or even what to think about that, so we left quietly. We stood waiting for the elevator in silence, eyes conveniently everywhere but at each other. I had a strange feeling that we weren't going to sleep that night. The doors opened slowly, and we were glad it was empty. In the ride, Zack pulled me closer to him and held me close, and Seph wrapped his arms around both of us. I twisted and held my arms out to Reno, who joined in gratefully and tucked his head into the side of my neck. The very slow ride was comfortable that way. The doors opened to the empty floor and we separated to head to Seph's room. I sat on the couch and Reno huddled close to me, eyes blank. Zack was on his side and Seph on mine. We fell asleep there.

I woke up to my phone alarm going off. Me shifting to turn it off woke up Reno and Zack, but Sephiroth was still asleep with his head in my lap. I smiled, shaking his shoulder gently. He curled his body a bit more before sitting up. His hair was disheveled and sticking out in quite a few places, and I held back my laughter. Zack however didn't have that courtesy. Reno wasn't looking, eyes on the ground. Zack calmed down and looked at all three of us.

"You know, guys, I really love all of you. I just wanted you to know that, in case I don't make it."

We all held a heavy feeling in our chests. Our mission was, in simple terms, suicide.

If only we had known.


End file.
